TRx Softball Make-up Game Write-Up: KB Throws The Game Away

Last night TRx took on the bimbos of Bimbo in a makeup game from July 13 in their final game of the season. As mixed emotions ran high throughout each of the TRx players, if you took a good look at Greg's face, you'd see his smile looked out of place. If you looked closer, it was easy to trace, the tracks of his tears. This sentiment ran throughout the whole team, as before, after, and even during the game, TRx could not help but embrace each other as they reminisced about all they had been through during this trying year...

TRx Softball Game 11 Write-Up: I'm Dreaming Of A White (Trash) Christmas

Last night, a reeling TRx took on Quest Diagnostics while fighting for their playoff lives. Going into the game with a 6-3 record, TRx is battling Auxillium (6-3) and Capmark (5-2) for two of the last three playoff spots. One of these proud teams will be on the outside looking in. Luckily, Quest Diagnostics seemed to be just what TRx needed to get back on the right track, as during the first half of the season Quest seemingly made it their quest to lose nearly all of their games, as they entered this contest with one victory on the season. However, they seemed to change tactics in to start the second half of the season, as before the game they attempted to engage in some corporate espionage. After hacking into the TRx computer system and realizing there was nothing of value, they did the one thing they thought would give them the upper hand- mess with the softball attendance spreadsheet, which almost had catastrophic consequences.

TRx Softball Game 10 Write-Up: The Curse of the Krysta Skull

Last night TRx opened their season against a super-fueled NCO team. Oh wait, they weren't opening their season, they were just having their first game in over a month. The last time something TRx softball-related lasted that long, Mike Berardi was under indictment for various illicit activities. But NCO was certainly super-fueled, as this was the team of former Seafood Factory mainstay "Cokehead," and they must have been under the influence of the very same "caffeine" that caused the original "Cokehead" to currently do midway through a 5 year bid. Although his older, skinner (from excessive use of his brother’s product of choice), and balder brother was still on the team, hoping to win the softball championship trophy to hock at a pawn shop to try to get Cokehead out on a weekend furlough. Perhaps he was going to go to Sonic to make some deals, but the cop staked out there scared him off of those stomping grounds.

TRx Softball Game 6 Write-Up: TRx Makes Reed (And Steve's Kids) Say "Daddy"

Last night the streaking TRx team (4-1) took on perennial cellar-dwellers Reed (0-4) in a battle to save the children’s souls. Before the game, both teams engaged in a spirited debate over the future. While Steve believes the children are our future, and tries to teach them well and let them lead the way, the Flyin’ Hawaiian umpire from previous games, and Reed’s third baseman, argued that children should not be raised in this cold world to suffer such indignities as a softball umpire who also plays in the same league that he umpires. He argued that robots were the future, and would have pointed to his girlfriend (http://www.crunchgear.com/2008/06/12/new-kissing-robot-from-japan/) as proof, but she was unable to attend the game due to rust-related concerns stemming from the ominous weather forecast.

TRx Softball Game 5 Write-up- Who Let The Dog's Out?

Last night TargetRx took on potential future client Auxillium in their fifth game of the season. Luckily, it was another 6:30 start time, giving certain members of both teams ample time to mentally prepare for the game at the Iron Abbey. Dempsey put this time to good use, racking his brain for the perfect lineup and defensive positioning. Needless to say, as the beers went down, the lineup got more and more interesting. At one point, Drunk Guy from the other team was going to be our pitcher, the umpire was going to play right field, and the bartender was going to catch. Luckily, Greg emerged as the voice of reason, convincing Old Demps to return to his initial lineup. At the bar, Auxillium tried to intimidate TRx with their willingness to take shots, and their pinstriped uniforms, but they were unaware of the new TRx uniforms making their debut (now with color!), courtesy of Steve and the BD team. TRx quickly made their escape in an effort to leave before Drunk Guy got in his car to drive to the field.

TRx Softball Game 4 Write-up - TRx Beats Other Team With A (Veri)-logue

Last night TRx took on their inter-office nemesis Verilogue, as well as a biased umpire, in a battle for use of the elevator and stairs at 220 Gibraltar. With another late game, TRx took to the Iron Abbey en masse, for a pregame drinking showdown with the few unfrightened 'Logue-ers. After each team attempted to buy their opponents multiple shots and intoxicate them, Dempsey took matters into his own hand and drank all of them. Due to these pregame shenanigans, Old Demps made wholesale changes in the field, putting himself in right center, with TO playing first, and KB taking on the shortstop duties, in what was at least the fifth iteration of the lineup. And these changes did not necessarily pay off early in the game...

TRx Softball Game 3 Writeup - TRx Takes It In The Bottom (of the 7th)

Last night TRx took on their hated auditors Kreishner Miller in salacious softball action. After last week’s heartbreaking loss to the Golden Gloves, Old Demps was both physically and mentally wrecked. Even the pregame happy hour couldn’t pull him out of his funk, and if there is one thing Dempsey knows, it’s “don’t fake the funk on a nasty dunk” (www.youtube.com/watch?v=01-vPBqLplg). With thoughts of his previous putrid pitching performance, his lifelong battle with plantar fasciitis, and his recent breakup (http://www.metrolyrics.com/breakin-up-lyrics-sean-dempsey.html), Demps decided to concentrate on his managerial duties this game, and kept himself out of the lineup.

TRx Softball Game 2 Write-up – Even More Confusing Than Lost (Which is What TRx Did)

Last night TRx had their home opener, and took on the dreaded Golden Gloves in what would turn out to be a bloodbath (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ld7MMZOep5o). The mere mention of their team name led to Greg breaking down in tears with a sense of loss, as he missed former teammate Chris “Hit King” Golden, who has been stranded at home with brother Timmy for the last 3 years for fear of the next crippling snow storm. While it might have been hot outside yesterday, somewhere, it must be snowing (perhaps in another universe?). These wouldn’t be the last tears leaving Greg’s body, in what would be a long game, yet one which would not go a full 7 innings.

2010 Softball Game 1 - They Say You Can Always Come Home

They say you can always come home (unless you are homeless, in which case you are always home), and yesterday marked the triumphant return of two former TargetRx mainstays- the infamous softball team, and the man, the myth, the legend, Ken Buonocore. After a 3 year hiatus from league play due to the disbanding of the former incarnation of the TRx softball team caused by mismanagement of team funds by Greg from Finance (which may have paid for his wedding to former scorekeeper Dana), a new triumvirate came forth to resurrect this former beast from the dead. In a lucid alcohol-induced dream, Old Demps had a vision of the Mike Berardi doing the Mad Elf dance and singing “If you build it, they will come” while prancing through the outfield, much as he did during TRx’s last official softball game. After waking up with cold sweats and screaming, Dempsey knew something had to be done to eliminate the memories of such a nefarious character, who was probably talking about the children’s playground near the field in the dream. He quickly assembled the brain trust of Brian “Tick Tock” Dividock and Krysta “The Shiv” Shivick to go about assembling a new softball squad to rise like the Phoenix from the ashes (and keep the funds away from Greg, who never got free jersey’s for previous teams due to his money laundering). This team would be represent the Olympic motto- Citius, Altius, Fortius… or at least be a bunch of people who enjoy the occasional happy hour before and/or after a softball game.