Multiple Characters:
- Joan: Why is the door shut?
Sandra: I don't like pipe smoke. He's very inconsiderate.
Joan: Could you tell him I'm here?
Sandra: What is this regarding? - Joan: Breast? Thigh?
Lane: One of each. - Joan: We can do it now. No one knows why we're here anyway.
Lane: Because there's work to do. And I understand that men are dizzy and powerless to refuse you, but consider me the incorruptible exception. Fried chicken indeed... - Lane: Don't go cry about it.
Joan: Excuse me!?!?
Lane: I said don't go cry about it. - Stephanie: I don't know where things go.
Patty: You can tell by looking.
Stephanie: She's never gotten over me flunking home ec... - Stephanie: Why am I staying?
Anna: I wanted him to meet you. And I know you've got grass. - Anna: There are worse things.
Don: No there aren't. - Stephanie: You're kidding me... It's pollution.
Don: So stop buying things.
Stephanie: Don't think that's not possible - Anna: I'm sorry she broke your heart.
Don: I had it coming. - Stephanie: That's OK, I'll hitch.
Don: You'll get picked up by some creep.
Stephanie: I guess this is safer. - Stephanie: So are you married or divorced?
Don: Couldn't I just be single? - Stephanie: Do you go on those dates, where you ask each other questions?
Don: It's a means to an end
Stephanie: But nobody knows what's wrong with themselves, and everyone can see it. - Don: She means well... and she's family.
Anna: I wouldn't have picked her - Joan: "Darling, I've been an ass. Kisses- Lane?!?!"
Lane: What?
Joan: I am not your darling and I don't want your kisses.
Lane: What?
Joan: I thought American men were bad enough but none of them have ever so consistently made me feel like a helpless stupid little girl.
Lane: Calm down- I did sent you flowers, but I also sent flowers to my wife in London. The sentiments were very different, I assure you - Joan: Sandra, everyone makes mistakes, but the fact that you're the kind of person who cannot accept blame is egregious.
Sandra: I don't know what that means.
Joan: It means I can't believe I hired you. - Joan: You're fired. Pack up your things. You'll be paid till the end of the year.
Lane: Those instructions, you understood. - Greg: I want you to calm down. For me, this is like, I don't know, filing some papers is for you. I do it all the time.
Joan: I don't do that anymore. I have other people do that. - Don: We're going to the movies.
Lane: Do you think we should?
Don: Does Howdy Doody have a wooden dick? - Lane: The Guns of August
Don: I hate guns. And I hate August.
Lane: It's all over the rug.
Don: We'll have to smoke the dress.
Lane: I don't know that one. - Lane: This movie's very good!
Don: You know what's going on here, don't you? Handjobs.
Lane: Is that right? What percentage, do you think? HHYA WATCH KASA WATCH. MONSTER!!!! - Don: I've learned the hard way not to give advice in these situations.
Lane: You're supposed to tell me to get on a place.
Don: Is that what you want, or is that what people expect of you?
Lane: I want my beef! - Janine: I love your apartment. It's very manly.
Don: It came this way. I think Norman Mailer shot a deer over there.
Janine: I love deer. - Janine: Why don't you show me around?
Lane: I suppose I'm a bit curious myself.
Don: Not in there... - Lane: What do I owe you for the evening?
Don: Don't worry about it.
Lane: I should pay. The girl... how much was she?
Don: 25 dollars.
Lane: It's fascinating. Here's $30
Don:
- Don: I don't think she'll ever understand.
- Don: I could tell the minute she saw who I really was she never wanted to look at me again. Which is why I never told her.
- Don: It sounds like she's inviting us to a very beautiful place...
- Don: You're so beautiful... and young.
- Don: Some quacks out in San Pedro?!?
- Don: You don't need a UFO to know that.
Joan:
- Joan: All this time I've been afraid to skip one but it could take a month?!?
- Joan: Well, you know I've had a couple of procedures. I just wanna make sure they won't affect anything.
- Joan: Then get one of the Jewish docs to do it- you worked on their holiday.
- Joan: Isn't there some medical ethics law against operating on your wife?
- Joan: Allright, gentleman. Shall we begin 1965?
Harry:
- Harry: Somebody's always running out of gas. I think you know who.
Peggy:
- Peggy: It's so encouraging to see someone happily married around here.
- Lane: I'm happy when I'm working. I'm sure another day and a half's work won't come close to the amount of fiddling about you did in Los Angeles this year.
- Lane: Why don't you go home and ask him how he would feel about some nurse asking for a holiday immediately following a holiday?
- Lane: Sandy, did it ever occur to you how sensitive these deliveries were? How often do I send flowers?
- Lane: I have a sandwich in the regrigerator. It's very large.
- Lane: He's one of those alcoholics who thinks he's connecting.
- Lane: Although things are precarious financially, it's been a magnificent year.
- Lane: You remind me of a chap I knew at school. We followed him around in a pack, and he didn't notice we were there. He died in a motorcycle crash.
- Lane: Rebecca convinced me you were all on holiday together. Without me...
- Lane: My wife is quite severe with people. Including me...
- Lane: And then we had a rather solemn phone call in which she told me that she was not returning. Then she put my son on the phone.
- Lane: What? Not hungry for this beautiful piece of American meat? I've got a big Texas belt buckle. YEEEEHAAAHHHH!!!
- Lane: We're not homosexuals. We're divorced!
- Lane: I'm terribly thirsty.
- Lane: Thank you for the... welcome distraction.
Greg:
- Greg: The nurses spend five minutes trying to get this girl's contact lenses out. She was screaming. Turns out here friend was the one with the contact lenses.
- Greg: I can't fix anything else, but I can fix this.
Joan's Gynocologist:
- JG: Why don't you join him for basic training? It would boost the men's morale.
- JG: You've been married two years, Joan. Most men don't wait.
- Allison: Don't worry, I'm hear til the bitter end.
- Anna: Here's the lesson- don't fry eggs in bare feet.
- Anna: I don't know. Once it stopped smelling, I kinda forgot about it.
- Anna: If I had rolled over on this, I would have had to smoke the dress.
- Anna: There's all kinds of aircraft out here, you know. If we stay up tonight and we get lucky, you'll see something you remember.
- Anna: I'm not gonna fight watching Dick Whitman paint my living room in his shorts.
- Anna: I know everything about you, and I still ove you.
- Anna: Aculpulco- you think there's more Mexicans here or there?
- Anna: I started thinking of everything I was sure was true, and how flimsy it all might be.
Stephanie:
- Stephanie: A self-made man. What's it like taking off your suit and going back into the wild?
- Stephanie: I'll say this in terms you'll understand- I will be right back after this brief message from Jan and Dean.
- Stephanie: I don't know how you ever danced to this.
- Comic: I'm thinking my mother got suspicous and called the fuzz. "We know you're practicing self-abuse. Please come out with your hand up!"
- Comic: I guess I was wrong- you're not queers, you're rich.
- Patty: What the hell's going on? You're going to get arrested!
- Patty: You just can't keep your pants on, can you?
- Patty: You're just a man, in a room, with a checkbook.
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