TRx Softball Game 3 Writeup - TRx Takes It In The Bottom (of the 7th)

Last night TRx took on their hated auditors Kreishner Miller in salacious softball action. After last week’s heartbreaking loss to the Golden Gloves, Old Demps was both physically and mentally wrecked. Even the pregame happy hour couldn’t pull him out of his funk, and if there is one thing Dempsey knows, it’s “don’t fake the funk on a nasty dunk” (www.youtube.com/watch?v=01-vPBqLplg). With thoughts of his previous putrid pitching performance, his lifelong battle with plantar fasciitis, and his recent breakup (http://www.metrolyrics.com/breakin-up-lyrics-sean-dempsey.html), Demps decided to concentrate on his managerial duties this game, and kept himself out of the lineup.

Earlier in the day, as he was being bombarded with questions regarding the weather, all he could do was pray to the Gods that it would stay dry enough for TRx to get back on track. However, despite his participation in the National Day of Prayer, Dempsey’s pleas were initially unheeded, as Lord JC (not Jim “the Killer” Colizzo) was still recuperating from his tragic accident (http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/37015837/ns/us_news-weird_news/) and the forecast looked grim, according to friendly neighborhood weatherwoman Monika. Yet LJC III recovered and was able to keep it dry enough to allow TRx to get in their game (http://www1.whdh.com/news/articles/local/BO141954/), despite Monika’s fear of water.


In search of a reliable starting pitcher after last game, Dempsey walked the Earth, like Kane in Kung Fu. As he trekked through miles of dense forest, he noticed he was being followed by an eagle. A lifelong Philadelphia Eagles fan, he took this as a sign, and knew he must communicate with this magnificent creature. Yet despite doing his best Mark Wahlberg impression (http://www.nbc.com/saturday-night-live/video/mark-wahlberg-talks-to-animals/727504/) the creature would not respond. Undaunted, Dempsey knew he had to find another way, which led him to the mean streets of Corvallis, Oregon, where he met Terri O’Hara, expert animal communicator (http://www.animalwize.com/index.html). She showed Dempsey the way of the eagle, and Demps finally took the plunge, and attempted to track down this eagle in flight (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gc9EcFhWH28). In addition to helping Demps mend his broken heart with the eagle this Terri O’Hara also knew another Terry O’Hara, who would end up being much more valuable, and instantly TRx had their ace pitcher.


Terry pitched a superb game, owning each inch of the plate and laughing in the face of the opposing teams big bats. In fact, they could barely get the ball out of the infield, as during one stretch, Terry fielded five straight slow grounders to the pitcher, and made approximately 50% of the outs for the game. Christin continued to show why she should be in goal for the Flyers in Game 6 tonight, making another kick save, despite yelling at herself not to do so anymore. She also swiftly caught a pop up behind the plate, and then kicked dirt at the batter as he dejectedly walked back to his dugout.


While Terry manhandled the bats of KM, the bats of TRx continued to lack inspiration, as the Kreishner Miller pitcher racked up 3 K’s. “Unabomber” Josh managed to get on base twice and continued to add to his league-leading “trucking” total, as early in the game he speedily beat a throw to second base by cross-checking their 2nd baseman and yelling “you just got truck bombed.” Later he also threw a forearm to the dome of their third baseman while yelling “put that in your mailbox”. Luckily, he has yet to approach Krysta asking for one of her shivs for use while running the bases, or else tragedy could strike on the diamond. Josh later put on a trucking demonstration for Christin, urging her to take out their first baseman’s legs when running to first next time up. In addition to later following this advice, Christin also took on Josh’s Unabomber look, becoming a hoodlum while donning a yellow sweatshirt.


With the score tied 1-1 in the 4th (after Steve knocked in TRx’s first run, while going 3-3 on the day), KB began to think that he would not win his wager on Over 8.5 runs he made before the game. After hearing about the pricing of TRx stock options, KB knew he needed to gather up some capital to make a quick score, and after TRx gave up 14 runs the game before, he figured the over was a lock. Yet with the score low, and his chances of winning decreasing, he had to take matters into his own hands. On a potential double-play ground ball to first, KB pivoted and fired the ball to 2nd. However, even Greg’s bulbous head wasn’t big enough to stop this one from sailing into the outfield, allowing Kreishner Miller to take a commanding 4-1 lead. TRx quickly regained their composure to get out of the inning, as David cheered from the bench “let’s get these guys, and then we’ll take it in the bottom!” to the muffled laughter of the crowd.


As darkness approached, TRx took the bat in the bottom of the sixth, still trailing 4-1. After hits by Josh, Brian and Steve, the mighty GLG stepped up to bat. With the weight of the team all riding on his bulbous head, Greg from Finance came through with a huge hit, driving in two runs to cut the deficit to one. With both the game and his wager hanging in the balance, KB stepped to the plate, and hit a game-tying RBI. The bench began to go wild, as Christin and Kristen turned themselves into a modern day Chris Kross, and made everybody JUMP, JUMP as they proclaimed the other team “wiggedy wiggedy wiggedy wack” while Josh continued to lay down those party beats.

TRx made quick work of KM in the top of the seventh, including a play where Josh showed blatant disregard for Steve in left-center, almost picking up his third trucking violation of the game. In the bottom of the seventh, Aaron reached base to represent the tying run. David then stepped to the plate to make his earlier prophecy come true, and also reached base. The pressure mounted as Christin strode to the plate. Using Josh’s advice, she roped the ball to the left side of the field, reaching first base and trucking the other team. This brought up mighty TO to the plate. With his shoe-laces double-tied around his ankles, and fresh off of doing sit-ups in his driveway, TO was primed to end the game, one way or another. With visions of his 3 pop-outs in the first game still fresh in his mind, TO channeled all of his focus on earning his next contract, and roped a ball into the outfield as Aaron rushed to the plate. TO was the hero, and in the process learned a valuable lesson- how to win.

After this stunning come-from-behind victory, TRx is now 2-1, representing the first time they have had a winning record this late in the season, and making them 2-0 following pre-game team happy hours. However, after Kreishner Miller’s defeat, this year’s audit may not go according to plan, so TRx must win this year, at all costs. With no game next week, TRx next plays on Tuesday, May 25 at 6:30 versus their new arch-nemesis Verilogue. The field could be awash with familiar faces, as Verilogue sports many ex-TRxers, including Ryan Orr (Orr-piece), Jeff Kozloff (JK-47), and (Jenna) Jamison Barnett.