College Bowls

Young Johnson's lock of the year-

Baylor -1 over Illinois

Bet it early, bet it often, and if they lose, blame Young Johnson...

GLG's New House

My buddy GLG just recently bought a house.  My other buddy Blin occassionally likes to break into peoples domeciles...  I hope one day while I'm at GLG's house, Blin tries to break in when GLG least expects it, just so GLG can prepare for a rumble and scream out "WE MUST PROTECT THIS HOUSE"

That would be good times...

Love, Brick

Survivor

I'm a fan of Survivor (the CBS TV show), but a lot of things piss me off about it...  Including: 

Desean Jackson = Asshole

Desean Jackson- I hope you get injured next week for your bullshit performance at the end of your 91 yard touchdown last night.  I wish one of the Cowgirls tackled you in the end zone and broke your fucking leg, you ignorant fuck.  Go fuck yourself...

Monday Night Footballs - Down With Brett

Given my hatred for the hooplehead Brett Favre, it is a dream of mine that Minnesota would start Tavaris Jackson tonight, but only play him for one play.  Then bring it Dickface McGee, Big Baby Brett after that one play.  Make him lose his "Ironman" streak (which has probably hurt his teams more than helped it), and then watch him throw 3 more interceptions, reinjure himself, and lose the game for the Vikings.  Fuck Brett Favre...

Mo' No Ordinary Family Issues

I now have even more issues with this show-

• While the wife is running, she is still able to have a normal conversation with her lab assistant.  The speed of sound at sea level is 761 MPH.  The show itself has said she runs faster than 700 MPH (and thats without actually doing the math of how far/how fast she gets places, which I can almost garauntee is faster than 700 MPH
• The criminal of the week saw the dad's face, and somehow uses that as leverage with the dad's DA friend to try to avoid jail, claiming he is going to out the super-cop.  Hmmm...  if there is no physical evidence, what judge/jury would ever believe someone who has been arrested before for pointing out someone on the force, especially given what he was going to claim about said person?

The Event Is Horrible

Worst show ever...  In the latest episode, the woman kidnapped a doctor/nurse from the hospital, and got in the back seat while making the doctor drive.  How much of a fucking idiot fuck does the doctor have to be to not just purposely crash into something?  Bottom line- if he gets kidnapped, he's likely going to get killed, and he should know that.  The fact that we know the the 'kidnapper' is a peaceful person should have no impact on his behavior.  What is she going to do- shoot him in the head (ala Leslie Knope) while he is driving?  Because that would be smart...  actually the brilliant writers of this show probably would do that, but then have the shot driver drive to a hospital, get out, and never mention the fact that he was shot by someone who kidnapped him...  For fuck's sake...

Things Wrong With No Ordinary Family

I've been cleaning up my DVR, and I just watched the latest episode of No Ordinary Family.  A bunch of things stuck out that piss me off due to how far-fetched they are- granted, the entire premise of the show is beyond belief, but at least have some consistency with certain aspects of the plot...

NFL Picks 10/31

Monday, 11/1 (1-0, +4 units)
Indianapolis -6 over Houston (4 units) WIN

Sunday, 10/31 (6-2, +13.8 units)
Detroit -3 over Washington (4 units) WIN
Miami +1 over Cincinnati (4 units) WIN
Kansas City -7 over Buffalo (4 units) LOSS
San Diego -4 over Tennessee (4 units) WIN
Tampa Bay +3 over Arizona (4 units) WIN
Tampa Bay +150 over Arizona (2 units) WIN
Pittsburgh pk over New Orleans (4 units) LOSS
St Louis -3 over Carolina (3 units) WIN

Week of 10/30 College Football Picks

Saturday, 10/30 (7-8, -5.7 units)
Clemson -7 over Boston College (4 units) LOSS
Oklahoma St -4.5 over Kansas St (5 units) WIN
Tulsa +9 over Notre Dame (3 units) WIN
Michigan St over Iowa (3 units) LOSS
Georgia over Florida (3 units) LOSS
Arizona -9 over UCLA (3 units) LOSS
Colorado St -16 over New Mexico (3 units) WIN
Stanford -7.5 over Washington (3 units) WIN
Utah -7 over Air Force (5 units) LOSS
Oklahoma -24 over Colorado (3 units) WIN
Miami -14 over Virginia (3 units) LOSS
Kentucky +6 over Mississippi St (3 units) LOSS
Michigan -3 over Penn St (3 units) LOSS
Hawaii -15 over Idaho (4 units) WIN
Ohio St -25 over Minnesota (3 units) WIN


Thursday, 10/28 (0-1, -3.3 units)
Florida St -4 over NC State (3 units) LOSS

NFL Thoughts - Fuck Brett Favre and James Harrison, Good for Bob McNair

My thoughts on a few of the current issues going on in the NFL regarding the biggest asshole on the universe, Brett Favre, the biggest shithead in the universe, James Harrison, and my new favorite NFL owner, Bob McNair...

10/24 NFL Picks

Monday, 10/25 (2-0, +5.1 units)
Giants +3.5 over Dallas (2 units) WIN
Giants +155 over Dallas (2 units) WIN

Sunday, 10/24 (5-6, -3 units)
Pittsburgh -3 over Miami (4 units) LOSS
Atlanta -3 over Cincinnati (6 units) WIN
Tennessee -3 over Philadelphia (4 units) WIN
Chicago -3 over Washington (4 units) LOSS
San Francisco -3 over Carolina (4 units) LOSS
St Louis +140 over Tampa Bay (2 units) LOSS
Seattle -7 over Arizona (3 units) WIN
Pittsburgh-Miami under 41 (3 units) LOSS
Philadelphia-Tennessee over 42.5 (3 units) WIN
San Francisco-Carolina under 35.5 (3 units) LOSS
Oakland-Denver over 42.5 (3 units) WIN

Week of 10/23 College Football Picks

10/21 (1-0, +4 units)
Oregon -26.5 over UCLA (4 units) WIN

10/22 (0-1, -4.4 units)
Cincinnati -9 over South Florida (4 units) LOSS

10/23 (7-4-1, +9.8 units)
Navy +220 over Notre Dame (2 units) WIN
Michigan St -6 over Northwestern (4 units) WIN
Texas -21 over Iowa State (3 units) LOSS
Miami Ohio +3 over Ohio (4 units) LOSS
Baylor -6 over Kansas St (4 units) LOSS
Nebraska -6 over Oklahoma St (5 units) WIN
Texas Tech -3 over Colorado (5 units) PUSH
Hawaii -3.5 over Utah St (5 units) WIN
Utah -30.5 over Colorado St (3 units) WIN
Texas A&M -14 over Kansas (3 units) WIN
Oklahoma -3 over Missouri (5 units) LOSS
Auburn -6 over LSU (3 units) WIN

Booyah Giants

Good for San Fran...  Take down the Phillies.  The Giants finally had to keep coming back from deficits or ties (which against their offense is essentially a deficit)...  Nice work Charlie, bringing in Oswalt for game 4.  I Even though I'd prefer Halladay loses to Lincecum again, I almost want it to go to game 6, let Charlie start Oswalt again, and watch him get shelled...  My one friend Krysta loves Lincecum- I now love Lincecum as well...  GO GIANTS

Cocaine- It's Not Just For Losers Anymore

I know the series isn't over yet, but if Texas does end up beating the Yankees and making it to the World Series, can we all give it up for Ron Washington, a true inspiration for all the kids out there?  Any time you have a manager of a team playing in the World Series who tests positive for cocaine, but faces no repurcussions from the major leagues, you have to respect the man. 

I figured maybe after no-nonsense Nolan Ryan bought the team, there might be some sort of punishment, but then I remembered that Nolan played during the cocaine days.  The fact that he didn't institute any sort of punishment or even make a statement probably means he partied like a rock-star back then as well.  Which wouldn't be surprising- given all of his strikeouts and no-hitters, I'm sure he needed a little pick-me-up between innings a bunch of times.  Much like Josh Hamilton did before each of his home runs during the ALCS...  once an addict, always an addict...

Bud Selig - YOU ARE THE WORST COMMISSIONER IN SPORTS

Hmmm, when would be a good time to have instant replay?  I know- the playoffs!  But no, you are too much of a fucking pussy to make any decisions that are good for baseball.  You figure after your genius call to make the all-star game decide home field for the world series, you're all good.  You are WORTHLESS...  how have people not toppled the statue of you outside of Milwaukee's stadium by now?  Oh yeah, because no one gives a shit about Milwaukee...  Fuck you, Bud Selig...

Bartman Part Duex - Top 5 of Yankees Game

Hey ASSHOLE down the third base line...  are you a fucking idiot?  Apparently the answer is yes.  How about you prevent Gardner from making the catch for what would have been the third out of the inning.  I don't care that they got out of the inning, YOU SIR, ARE A PIECE OF SHIT.  Those better not be your usual seats, because if they are, and you still decided to make yourself an integral part of the game in a bad way, you should be dragged out of the stadium and let everyone beat the fucking shit out of you...  Fuck you, asshole...

Clean Underwear for Halloween

On my way to work I heard one of those radio advertisements for a local Halloween attraction - haunted house, spooky graveyard, etc.  At the end of the ad, they say "make sure you wear clean underwear."  I hate Halloween advertisements that say this.  Either they are insinuating that they are literally going to scare the shit out of you, or that you will die from fear and horror leading to the cops/medical examiner/coronor finding your tainted skivvies.

If it is the first case- that they will scare the shit out of you- wouldn't you want to already be wearing dirty underwear?  Why ruin a perfectly clean set of new underwear?  Seems like a waste...

If it is the second case- you're dead- who cares if your underwear is clean or not?  Especially if they first scared the shit out of you, and then you died- you've got that built in excuse...

10/17 NFL Picks

Sunday, 10/17 (3-5-1, -12.0 units)

Indianapolis -3.5 over Washington (5 units) LOSS
Kansas City +4.5 over Houston (4 units) WIN
Baltimore +3 over New England (3 units) PUSH
NY Giants-Detroit over 45.5 (3 uints) WIN
NY Jets-Denver over 43 (3 units) WIN
Denver +3.5 over NY Jets (3 units) LOSS
Oakland +7 over San Francisco (3 units) LOSS
Oakland-San Francisco over 41 (4 units) LOSS
Atlanta +3 over Philadelphia (5 units) LOSS

Week of 10/16 College Football Picks

Saturday 10/16 (6-3, +10.1 units)
Pittsburgh -2 over Syracuse (3 units) WIN
Michigan St -7 over Illinois (5 units) WIN
Purdue -5.5 over Minnesota (3 units) WIN
Texas A&M -3.5 over Missouri (3 units) LOSS
Colorado St -3.5 over UNLV (3 units) WIN
USC -3 over California (3 units) WIN
Nebraska -10 over Texas (3 units) LOSS
South Carolina -5 over Kentucky (3 units) LOSS
Oregon St +1.5 over Washington (3 units) WIN


Friday 10/15 (0-1. -4.4 units)
Louisville +3 over Cincinnati (4 units) LOSS

Thursday 10/14 (2-0, +10.0 units)
Kansas St -3 over Kansas (5 units) WIN
West Virginia -10 over South Florida (5 units) WIN

Famous Original Rays? Bring on the Lone Rangers...

Great job winning the AL east Tampa Bay.  That really gave you some nice momentum heading into the playoffs.  At least you'll forever be famous as being part of the first and only postseason series where the home team lost every home game, as well as being the first team to lose any playoff series to the Texas Rangers. 

As for the Rangers, bring it on...  Though after their ginger ale celebration last night, Josh Hamilton is probably in the mood for some real gin...  Chances that there is an "AL-CO-HO-LIC" chant at Yankee Stadium for him?

10/10 NFL Picks

Sunday 10/10 (4-3, +7.5 units)

Buffalo -1.5 over Jacksonville (4 units) LOSS
Atlanta -3 over Cleveland (12 units) WIN
Tampa Bay +7 over Cincinnati (4 units) WIN
Chicago +3 over Carolina (4 units) WIN
Green Bay -3 over Washington (7 units) LOSS
Houston -3 over NY Giants (4 units) LOSS
Philadelphia +3.5 over San Francisco (4 units) WIN

Week of 10/8 College Picks

Saturday 10/9 (4-5, -2.9 units)
Ohio St -24 over Indiana (7 units) WIN
Texas Tech PK over Baylor (4 units) WIN
Clemson +2 over NC St (4 units) LOSS
Alabama -7 over South Carolina (4 units) LOSS
BYU +170 over San Diego St (3 units) WIN
Florida -7 over LSU (4 units) LOSS
Auburn -6.5 over Kentucky (4 units) LOSS
USC +10 over Stanford (4 units) WIN
Washington -1.5 over Arizona State (3 units) LOSS


Thursday 10/7 (1-0, +3.0 units)
Nebrasaka -11 over Kansas St (3 units) WIN

Phillies Fans are Hypocrits...

Does anyone else remember a certain Yankee game a few weeks ago where Derek Jeter took first base after selling getting hit by the ball when in fact he didn't get hit by the ball?  I happen to remember a bunch of self-righteous fucks getting all up in arms when he admitted that the ball did not in fact hit him.  All of this, despite the fact that the goal of the game is to get on base and advance runners.

Well guess what happened tonight at the Phillies game I was at?  Chase Utley did the same thing.  And now everyone in Philadelphia is talking about what a heads up play it was.  Guess what, YOU ARE ALL A BUNCH OF HYPOCRITS...  The very same people who tried to lambast me for being a Yankees fan about how Jeter cheated are now all excited about what a great heads-up move it was on Utley's part.  This is just another reason why the Yankees will beat the Phillies in the World Series (if the Phils get there at all).  All the Phillies know how to do is take things out of the Yankees playbook- reaching base, throwing a now hitter (since Halladay couldn't match Don and throw a perfect game in the playoffs), come back from a deficit, reach base on a phantom hit-batsman...

Also, the umps did another great job of altering a playoff game by blowing that call at second.  Where the fuck is instant replay?

Those Paps Aren't Gonna Smear Themselves...

Nice series, Twins...  Once again they blow a lead to the Yankees in the playoffs.  Much appreciated, Minnesota.  Enjoy Randy Moss...

Bug Selig = Worth Less Than Worthless

Hey Bud...  way to not approve expanded instant replay for the playoffs...  You are a lucky man that the mighty Jim Thome didn't tie up the game after your idiot umpires in Minny tried to blow the game by calling Golson's clear catch a base hit.  I realize that those same idiot umps completely screwed the Twins last year, but still, they fucking suck, and it's because Bug Selig allows them to suck, especially by not instituting a more comprehensive replay, at least during the playoffs...  Bud- you are a fucking idiot, and the people of Milwaukee are even bigger idiots for erecting a statue for you outside of their stadium (though I wouldn't be surprised at all if Bud had something to do with that to enhance his legacy)...  despite your idiocy about replay, good job on changing the rules for the catwalk in Tampa Bay- because that is a great idea- chance the rules that have been in play all year, but don't institute a better form or replay.  What a fucking idiot...

Halladay - No-Hitter... Big Deal...

Well, Halladay threw his second no-hitter of the year tonight.  But guess what?  The way the Phillies celebrated makes it obvious that they are not going to win the World Series this year.  They were so excited for one player to have an aweseme game that they forgot their whole purpose of being out there...  They will be lucky to win the NLDS.  The funny thing is that Roy H. would agree with me.  As a Yankee fan, I'm well aware of Roy's preperation for each game and how much he places on team victories rather than individual victories.  But the Phillies made it all about him tonight.  Sorry Phil's, you guys lost your World Series attempt tonight...  But I look forward to all the fake Phillies fan's pretending to be heartbroken when it happens...

Also, I heard multiple Phillies fans asking "was that the first no-hitter in the playoffs?"  Just more proof that the Phillies are only good for setting records for losses, as few if any knew about a no-hitter that was even better than Halladay's...  Don Larsen's PERFECT GAME.  The team... THE NEW YORK YANKEES...  Phillies, you guy's were lucky we let you play in the New Yankee Stadium last year...  this year, you'll be lucky to get there, and you'll have no one to blame but the two Roy's...  you guys can start crying now...

NFL Picks 10/3

Sunday 10/3 (5-3, +7.9 units)

Cincinnati -3 over Cleveland (4 units) LOSS
St Louis +2 over Seattle (5 units) WIN
Chicago +3.5 over NY Giants (3 units) LOSS
Denver +7 over Tennessee (5 units) WIN
Denver +250 over Tennessee (2 units) WIN
Washington +6 over Philadelphia (6 units) WIN
Washington +200 over Philadelphia (2 units) WIN
Atlanta -7 over San Francisco (4 units) LOSS

Week of 10/2 College Football Picks

Saturday 10/2 (6-5, +7.1 units)
Minnesota +5.5 over Northwestern (3 units) WIN
Ohio St. -17 over Illinois (4 units) LOSS
Miami (FL) -3.5 over Clemson (5 units) WIN
Mississippi -3 over Kentucky (5 units) WIN
Oklahoma -3.5 over Texas (5 units) WIN
Michigan St +2 over Wisconsin (3 units) WIN
Michigan -10 over Indiana (4 units) LOSS
NC St. +3.5 over Virginia Tech (3 units) LOSS
Georgian -5 over Colorado (3 units) LOSS
USC -10 over Washington (5 units) LOSS
Alabama -8 over Florida (7 units) WIN

************************
Friday 10/1 (1-0, +3 units)
Utah State +4.5 over BYU (3 units) WIN

9/26 NFL Picks

Sunday, 9/26 (6-5, +2.0 units)

Tennessee +3 over NY Giants (4 units) WIN
Cincinnati -3.5 over Carolina (5 units) WIN
Atlanta +3 over New Orleans (4 units) WIN
Atlanta +155 over New Orelans (2 units) WIN
Detroit +11 over Minnesota (3 units) LOSS
Houston -3 over Dallas (4 units) LOSS
Washington -4.5 over St. Louis (5 units) LOSS
Philadelphia -3 over Jacksonville (5 units) WIN
San Diego -4.5 over Seattle (4 units) LOSS
Oakland +4.5 over Arizona (4 units) WIN
Miami -2.5 over NY Jets (4 units) LOSS

College Football Picks - Week of 9/25

Saturday 9/25 (7-10, -12.3 units)

Northwestern -7 over Central Michigan (3 units) LOSS
Purdue -11.5 over Toledo (2 units) LOSS
Tennessee -14 over UAB (3 units) LOSS
Kansas St -7 over Central Florida (5 units) LOSS
Penn State -14 over Temple (5 units) LOSS
Arkansas +7.5 over Alabama (4 units) WIN
Stanford -5 over Notre Dame (5 units) WIN
Colorado St +8 over Idaho (3 units) WIN
BYU +4.5 over Nevada (3 units) LOSS
Florida -14 over Kentucky (4 units) WIN
Southern Mississippi -3.5 over Louisiana Tech (3 units) LOSS
Boise St -18 over Oregon St (4 units) LOSS
LSU -10 over W Virginia (3 units)  LOSS
Memphis +12 over UTEP (3 units) WIN
NC St +240 over Georgia Tech (1 unit) WIN
UCLA-Texas under 43 (2 units) LOSS
Colorado St +260 over Idaho (1 unit) WIN

Week 2 NFL Picks

NFL This Week:  6-4-1 (+5.9 units)
NFL Net:  6-4-1 (+5.9 units) 

Monday, September 20, 2010 (0-2, -4.4 units)
New Orleans -6 over SF 49ers (2 units) LOSS
New Orleans-SF under 44 (2 units) LOSS
Stupid Saints Defense couldn't hold them on the last drive.  Luckily, I teased Saints and the under as well, so not a total loss...

Sunday, September 19, 2010 (6-2-1, +10.3 units)
NE Patriots -3 over NY Jets (5 units) LOSS
St Louis Rams +3.5 over Oakland Raiders (3 units) WIN
Miami Dolphins +6 over Minnesota Vikings (5 units) WIN
Houston Texans -3 over Washington Redskins (3 units) PUSH
Miami-Minnesota under 39 (3 units) WIN
Atlanta Falcons -7 over Arizona Cardinals (2 units) WIN
Tampa Bay Bucs +3.5 over Carolina Panthers (3 units) WIN
Kansas City Chiefs +3 over Cleveland Browns (2 units) WIN
Arizona-Atlanta under 43 (2 units) LOSS

Fuck You USC

Fuck you, USC, for the following reasons:

• Going for 2 three times and fucking it up each time
• Fumbling the ball away while trying to run out the clock
• Giving up a TD with 7 seconds left

The result- a 32-21 victory that doesn't cover the 11.5 point spread...  JUST KICK A GODDAMN EXTRA POINT, YOU FUCKS!!!

College Football Picks Week of 9/16

Saturday (5-7, -6.4 units)
Nebraska -3.5 over Washington (5 units) WIN
USC -11.5 over Minnesotta (6 units) BULLSHIT LOSS
Colorado St +3.5 over Miami (Ohio) (3 units) LOSS
Kansas St -4 over Iowa St (5 units) WIN
Georgia -1.5 over Arkansas (2 units) LOSS
Houston -4 over UCLA (7 units) LOSS
Arizona -1 over Iowa (4 units) WIN
Boise St -24 over Wyoming (2 units) WIN
Eastern Michigan +10 over Central Michigan (2 units) LOSS
Virginia Tech -19.5 over E Carolina (4 units) WIN
Connecticut -6 over Temple (2 units) LOSS
Maryland +10 over West Virginia (2 units) LOSS

Friday (0-1, -5.5 units)
Cal -3 over Nevada (5 units) LOSS

Thursday (1-0, +5 units)
NC State -2.5 over Cincinnati (5 units) WIN

A Push Is A Win - What Happens In Vegas...

I spent this past weekend (Thursday-Monday) in Vegas, and I realized I'm getting old...  5 days in Vegas is way too many, as it always seems like I'm hurting on that fourth day.  However, now that I'm back home and recovered, I'm ready to go back already...  I'll allow it...

NFL Nicknames

Here are the top NFL nicknames my friends and I use for certain NFL players:

• Mohamed "The Prophet" Massaquoi- I know ESPN's Matthew Berry is trying to promote "Chainsaw," but he'll always be "The Prophet" Mohamed to us...
• Arian "The Nation" Foster- after his week 1 performance, it would take a nation to keep  him down
• Arian "Bananas" Foster- B-A-N-A-N-A-S
• Mike "I am William" Wallace- though only once he puts up good numbers
• Legadu Naanee-gonna work here no more- inspired by Office Space
• Tim "Virgin Air" Tebow- attributed to one of Bill Simmons Twitter followers
• Michael "70s" Bush- also attributed to Simmons

Reggie Bush- Be Strong and Keep Your Heisman

Why is Reggie Bush giving back the Heisman?  He should just take a stand, and say "NCAA- you want the Heisman, come and take is from me."  It's the same as any vacated wins or vacated national championships- I saw what happened on the field, go ahead and take away the wins or awards, but to me those victories/awards will still count... 

F the NCAA and the Heisman Trust

Fantasy Football Draft - Take 9 (WCOFF)

This is the big one- the draft for the World Championship of Fantasy Football- a high stakes buy in with a potential first place prize of 300K.  This was my first year entering, along with a friend of mine, and the draft was this past Friday (9/10) in Vegas.  For this league, you start 1 QB, 2 RBs, 3 WR, 1 RB/WR/TE, 1 TE, 1 K, 1 D, and the draft is 20 rounds.  We had the 8th pick.

Carson Palmer
Michael Turner
Deangelo Williams
Shonn Greene
Roddy White
Steve Breaston
Mike Sims-Walker
Kellen Winslow
David Beuhler
New Orleans D

Donavan McNabb
Carnell Williams
Rashad Jennings
Nate Washington
Mario Manningham
Terrell Owens
Josh Morgan
Mohammed Massoquai
Jermaine Gresham
Pittsburgh D

Fantasy Football Draft - Take 8 (Farm League)

My other draft on 9/8, with old work buddies.  This is a keeper league, and I was lucky enough to keep Arian Foster in the 13th round.  12 teams, starting 1 QB, 2 RB, 2 WR, 1 RB/WR/TE, 1 TE, 1 K, 1 D.  Unfortunately, our commissioner was too lazy to put the draft order on the website...  what a jerk, but my team:

Eli Manning
Arian Foster
Ahmad Bradshaw
Jahvid Best
Miles Austin
Randy Moss
Jermichael Finley
Lawrence Tynes
Dallas D

Mike Williams
Ben Rothlisberger
Darren McFadden
Eddie Royal
Mike Wallace

Fantasy Football Draft - Take 7 (Philly Phighters)

Another day, another 2 drafts...  This one is 12 teams, starting 1 QB, 2 RB, 3 WR, 1 TE, 1 K, 1 D.  Once again, I had the 11th pick...

Joe Flacco
Arian Foster
Knowshon Moreno
Calvin Johnson
Randy Moss
Dwayne Bowe
Jermichael Finley
David Beuhler
Miami D

Jerome Harrison
Carnell Williams
Mike Williams
Ben Rothlisberger
Jabar Gaffney
Leon Washington
Dustin Keller
Laurent Robinson

Fantasy Football Draft - Take 6 (Work League)

This one was a debacle...  Only 8 teams, most of whom where autodrafting back on 9/7 as well, and this draft was going on simultanesouly as my Dover Road draft.  It's a PPR league, staring 1 QB, 2 RB, 3 WR, 1 TE, 1 K, 1 D, and I had the 3rd pick.

Joe Flacco
Ray Rice
Arian Foster
Michael Crabtree
Calvin Johnson
Miles Austin
Jermichael Finley
David Akers
New England D

Jahvid Best
Malcolm Floyd
Knowshon Moreno
Mike Wallace
Ben Rothilsberger
Santonio Holmes
Jerome Harrison

Fantasy Football Draft - Take 5 (Dover Road)

Draft number 5 was back on 9/7 for my Dover Road league.  This one was 12 teams, start 1 QB, 2 RB, 3 WR, 1 RB/WR/TE, 1 TE, 1 K, 1 D.  I had the 11th pick, once again...  My team:

Eli Manning
Jahvid Best
Joseph Addai
Ahmad Bradshaw
Calvin Johnson
Miles Austin
Marques Colston
Zach Miller
Mason Crosby
New England D

C.J. Spiller
Mike Williams
Ben Rothlisberger
Jabar Gaffney
Dexter McCluster

Are You Serious? We Can Solve This Problem With A Flask

Oh Roger...

Week 1 NCAA Football Picks

Monday College

Virginia Tech pk over Boise State (5 units)

Sunday College
East Carolina +7 over Tulsa (3 units)
Texas Tech -14 over SMU (3 units)

Saturday College
Auburn -31 over Arkansas St (3 units)
Oklahoma -34 over Utah St (3 units)
Syracuse -7.5 over Akron (5 units)
Michigan -3 over Connecticut (3 units)
Purdue +11 over Notre Dame (4 units)
Colorado St +11 over Colorado (4 units)
Georgia -29 over UL Lafayette (3 units)

Thursday Night College Picks
Ohio St -28 over Marshall (2 units)
Iowa St -4 over Northern Illinois (3 units)
Utah -3 over Pittsburgh (2 units)
USC -21 over Hawaii (5 units)

2010 Fantasy Football Draft - Take 4 (RU-486)

Another day, another draft.  My fraternity draft was last night- 10 teams, starting 1 QB, 2 RB, 2 WR, 1 WR-RB, 1 TE, 1 K, 1 D.  I had the 5 spot.  This one was online, with two of the people semi-autodrafting (with the Commish have finally approval), which led to multiple instances of them trying to draft Garrett Hartley as the next best available player and the Commish having to back out their pick and give them someone more relevant for an early round...  My team and the draft:

Joe Flacco
Frank Gore
Jahvid Best
Calvin Johnson
Miles Austin
C.J. Spiller
Jermichael Finley
David Akers
49ers Defense

Ben Rothlisberger
Montario Hardesty
Jerome Harrison
Louis Murphy
Terrell Owens
Mike Williams

2010 Fantasy Football Draft - Take 3 (Privet Road)

Miraculously, the never-ending draft has finally ended...  After starting on August 17, what was my first draft started has become my third draft completed.  Given the sporadic nature of this one, and how early it started, I could be happier with my team.  Interesting things happenend in this one, including a defense taken in the 4th round, and back to back QB picks in the 3rd and 4th for one player, as well as JR going with the always dangerous double TE for his flex... 

This one is a 12 team league, pretty standard scoring, start 1 QB, 2 RB, 2 WR, 1 RB-WR-TE, 1 TE, 1 D, 1 K, and I was drafting out of the 12 spot.  My team (Bone Crushers), and the rest of the draft:

Eli Manning
Deangelo Williams
Rashard Mendenhall
Michael Crabtree
Mike Sims-Walker
Knowshon Moreno
Dallas Clark
Nick Folk
Cowboys D

Dez Bryant
Michael Bush
Santonion Holmes
Chad Henne
Eddie Royal
Mohammed Massoquai

2010 Fantasy Football Draft - Take 2 (FTRxFL)

Draft #2 was completed last night (16 rounds).  This one is a keeper league (keep one player 2 rounds ahead of where he was drafted last year), where I kept Arian Foster in the 14th round.  Ben Tate's injury made it an easy decision for me...  Other keepers included: Joe Flacco (12th), Vernon Davis (14th), Jaamaal Charles (9th), LeSean McCoy (6th), Chris Johnson (4th), Deangelo Williams (2nd), Mike Wallace (14th), Aaron Rodgers (1st), Shonn Greene (10th), and Ray Rice (1st).  Pretty standard scoring, with 12 teams, starting 1 QB, 2 RB, 2 WR, 1 RB-WR-TE, 1 TE, 1 K, 1 D.  I was drafting in the 10 spot.  Here is my team (Fat, Drunk, and Stupid), and the official draft results below the fold:

Eli Manning
Arian Foster
Rashard Mendenhall
Randy Moss
Steve Smith (CAR)
Knowshon Moreno
Tony Gonzalez
Nate Kaeding
Chicago Defense

Alex Smith
Fred Jackson
Ricky Williams
Hakeem Nicks
Louis Murphy
Legedu Naanee
Mike Willaims

Hurt Feelings - Flight of the Conchords

One of the best songs they've ever done on the show.  I especially like the 2nd part where Murray gets to sing.  In that show, Murray = solid gold...

2010 Fantasy Football Draft - Take 1 (DFL)

Given my love of football and even bigger love of gambling on football, I'm in 9 fantasy football leagues, 2 pick em leagues, and 3 suicide leagues this year (so far).  Last night was my first official draft (I'm in the midst of another never-ending draft where people log in when they want to make picks, that has already taken over a week to get to the 9th round).  For this league (the DFL), 10 teams, start 1 QB, 1 RB, 2 WR, 2 RB-WR, 1 TE, 1 K, 1 D.  This one is a 16 round draft, with a crazy PPR scoring system and all types of bonuses(teams typically score over 250 points per week).  I was in the 2 spot for this draft.  Here is my team (Fat, Drunk, and Stupid), and the official draft results:

Peyton Manning
Adrian Peterson
Matt Forte
Miles Austin
Wes Welker
Mike Sims-Walker
Jason Witten
David Akers
Da Bears

Bench:
Chad Henne
Michael Bush
Tim Hightower
Ladanian Tomlinson
Mike Wallace
Mike Williams
Mohamed Massaquoi

Shaq Vs. Sir Charles - Best Episode Ever

Just the fact that Sir Charles was included in any way made this a great episode.  Shaq is apparently a master putter.  I love that AK was trash-talking Charles the whole way.  Also loved when Bubba also started talking shit to his own teammate, and after being asked if he ever talked badly about a teammate, Sir said "not since Philly..." 

Links of the Day

Because who doesn't like links...

Mad Men S4E4 Best Quotes ("The Rejected") (Season 4, Episode 4)

Allison's got quite the arm on her...  And Pete is making moves.  Meanwhile, Peggy experiments with drugs, and maybe lesbianism later...  Quotes below the fold...

TRx Softball Make-up Game Write-Up: KB Throws The Game Away

Last night TRx took on the bimbos of Bimbo in a makeup game from July 13 in their final game of the season. As mixed emotions ran high throughout each of the TRx players, if you took a good look at Greg's face, you'd see his smile looked out of place. If you looked closer, it was easy to trace, the tracks of his tears. This sentiment ran throughout the whole team, as before, after, and even during the game, TRx could not help but embrace each other as they reminisced about all they had been through during this trying year...

Mad Men S4E3 Best Quotes ("The Good News") (Season 4, Episode 3)

No Roger this week, but great, great Lane-Joan and Lane-Don scenes tonight...  deciding what movie to go to, at the restaraunt, and back at Don's place...  Hilarious.  Don and Lane make a great drunken combo.  Also, the only good thing Greg's done is tell the donkey dick joke.  Don ripping off the sheets after Lane's exploits was also comical...  And Janine definately didn't go to Barnard...

Big Brother Contestants Are The Stupidest People Ever

I guess it might say something about myself, since I watch the show, but the people who are contestants on Big Brother are "both literally and figuratively" the "stupidest" people ever...  Let us count the ways...

TRx Softball Game 12 Write-Up: TRx Takes It In The Bottom (And Not In A Good Way)

Last night TRx took on Capmark in a battle for their playoff lives. Needing a win to still have a chance to make the playoffs, before the game, Old Demps gave another one of his rousing inspirational speeches, as he had spent the previous weekend writing a new mission statement for the softball team (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fSi4HHNOnd0), although lacking the class of Jerry McGuire, Dempsey’s version was more like Jim Breuer from Half Baked (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TTIKNZi35AA). Somehow, this worked, and the whole team came with him, at least out onto the field for the stat of the game (well, except for Brian, David, TO, and everyone else who wasn’t there).

Mad Men S4E2 Best Quotes ("Christmas Comes But Once A Year") (Season 4, Episode 2)

How about Glen (or should we call him Stanley?) the young buck making moves on Sally...  What a smooth operator...  Is this all part of his master plan to get closer to Betty again?  Between giving cigarettes out for Christmas, a dance line breaking out at the office party, and having secratary's that bring you your keys, and provide other "services" (and then giving her her bonus the next morning). I want a job at Sterling-Cooper-Draper-Pryce...

TRx Softball Game 11 Write-Up: I'm Dreaming Of A White (Trash) Christmas

Last night, a reeling TRx took on Quest Diagnostics while fighting for their playoff lives. Going into the game with a 6-3 record, TRx is battling Auxillium (6-3) and Capmark (5-2) for two of the last three playoff spots. One of these proud teams will be on the outside looking in. Luckily, Quest Diagnostics seemed to be just what TRx needed to get back on the right track, as during the first half of the season Quest seemingly made it their quest to lose nearly all of their games, as they entered this contest with one victory on the season. However, they seemed to change tactics in to start the second half of the season, as before the game they attempted to engage in some corporate espionage. After hacking into the TRx computer system and realizing there was nothing of value, they did the one thing they thought would give them the upper hand- mess with the softball attendance spreadsheet, which almost had catastrophic consequences.

Mad Men S4E1 Best Quotes ("Public Relations") (Season 4 Episode 1)

Mad Men is back...  one of the most creative and most visually realistic shows on television.  After finally watching episode 1 ("Public Relations") of this season on AMC, a few things stood out- Lipitor loves the Mad Men target audience (or at least thinks they do- I wonder what Don would think of their advertising).  And for some reason, on my television every Lipitor commercial was about 12 times louder than the actual show...  Stop yelling at me, Pfizer.  But on to the best quotes of the episode, with my general thoughts at the end:

TRx Softball Game 10 Write-Up: The Curse of the Krysta Skull

Last night TRx opened their season against a super-fueled NCO team. Oh wait, they weren't opening their season, they were just having their first game in over a month. The last time something TRx softball-related lasted that long, Mike Berardi was under indictment for various illicit activities. But NCO was certainly super-fueled, as this was the team of former Seafood Factory mainstay "Cokehead," and they must have been under the influence of the very same "caffeine" that caused the original "Cokehead" to currently do midway through a 5 year bid. Although his older, skinner (from excessive use of his brother’s product of choice), and balder brother was still on the team, hoping to win the softball championship trophy to hock at a pawn shop to try to get Cokehead out on a weekend furlough. Perhaps he was going to go to Sonic to make some deals, but the cop staked out there scared him off of those stomping grounds.

The Revolution Will Not Be Televised (Recent Links)

Will TRx finally be able to play a game today?  After forfeits, rainouts, and holidays, they haven't been on the field in over a month...  Who will play each of these roles (http://www.zoowithroy.com/2010/07/phillies-as-your-companys-softball-team.html).  My how the world has changed since then (links below the fold)...

TRx Softball Game 9 Write-Up: Tears Over Steinbrenner's Passing Cancel Game

Rest in Peace, Big George

http://sports.espn.go.com/new-york/mlb/news/story?id=5375561

No game today due to tears from the heaven's...

TRx Softball Game 8 Write-up: Simplex Simply Forfeits

Boo Simplex...  Boo I say...

TRx Softball Game 7 Write-up: The Sweet Stench of Death

Last night TargetRx played their seventh game of the year, hoping to guarantee a winning record for the season in the horrendous humidity and hellish Horsham heat hoping to humiliate the helpless humans of Softerwear. Given the stifling heat, TRx decided it was too hot to run, and therefore too hot to score runs. On top of that, they were missing multiple players who likely had the runs. Alas, a victory was not meant to be, as signs were ominous even as TRx approached the field. They were enveloped by a rank odor, the likes of which haven’t been smelled since the last company lunch at the old Chinese buffet place on 611. Early on, it was feared that the odor was the decomposing bodies of either David, Aaron, TO, or Steve. Perhaps Father’s Day was not too happy for them after all. Luckily for TRx, Shannon made her triumphant softball return and Mike made his TRx softball debut to keep hope alive. If not for these two noble souls, super fan Krysta’s mom would have had to play 2nd, with her dog, Parker making like Air Bud (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0288415/) and roaming the outfield.

TRx Softball Game 6 Write-Up: TRx Makes Reed (And Steve's Kids) Say "Daddy"

Last night the streaking TRx team (4-1) took on perennial cellar-dwellers Reed (0-4) in a battle to save the children’s souls. Before the game, both teams engaged in a spirited debate over the future. While Steve believes the children are our future, and tries to teach them well and let them lead the way, the Flyin’ Hawaiian umpire from previous games, and Reed’s third baseman, argued that children should not be raised in this cold world to suffer such indignities as a softball umpire who also plays in the same league that he umpires. He argued that robots were the future, and would have pointed to his girlfriend (http://www.crunchgear.com/2008/06/12/new-kissing-robot-from-japan/) as proof, but she was unable to attend the game due to rust-related concerns stemming from the ominous weather forecast.

TRx Softball Game 5 Write-up- Who Let The Dog's Out?

Last night TargetRx took on potential future client Auxillium in their fifth game of the season. Luckily, it was another 6:30 start time, giving certain members of both teams ample time to mentally prepare for the game at the Iron Abbey. Dempsey put this time to good use, racking his brain for the perfect lineup and defensive positioning. Needless to say, as the beers went down, the lineup got more and more interesting. At one point, Drunk Guy from the other team was going to be our pitcher, the umpire was going to play right field, and the bartender was going to catch. Luckily, Greg emerged as the voice of reason, convincing Old Demps to return to his initial lineup. At the bar, Auxillium tried to intimidate TRx with their willingness to take shots, and their pinstriped uniforms, but they were unaware of the new TRx uniforms making their debut (now with color!), courtesy of Steve and the BD team. TRx quickly made their escape in an effort to leave before Drunk Guy got in his car to drive to the field.

TRx Softball Game 4 Write-up - TRx Beats Other Team With A (Veri)-logue

Last night TRx took on their inter-office nemesis Verilogue, as well as a biased umpire, in a battle for use of the elevator and stairs at 220 Gibraltar. With another late game, TRx took to the Iron Abbey en masse, for a pregame drinking showdown with the few unfrightened 'Logue-ers. After each team attempted to buy their opponents multiple shots and intoxicate them, Dempsey took matters into his own hand and drank all of them. Due to these pregame shenanigans, Old Demps made wholesale changes in the field, putting himself in right center, with TO playing first, and KB taking on the shortstop duties, in what was at least the fifth iteration of the lineup. And these changes did not necessarily pay off early in the game...

TRx Softball Game 3 Writeup - TRx Takes It In The Bottom (of the 7th)

Last night TRx took on their hated auditors Kreishner Miller in salacious softball action. After last week’s heartbreaking loss to the Golden Gloves, Old Demps was both physically and mentally wrecked. Even the pregame happy hour couldn’t pull him out of his funk, and if there is one thing Dempsey knows, it’s “don’t fake the funk on a nasty dunk” (www.youtube.com/watch?v=01-vPBqLplg). With thoughts of his previous putrid pitching performance, his lifelong battle with plantar fasciitis, and his recent breakup (http://www.metrolyrics.com/breakin-up-lyrics-sean-dempsey.html), Demps decided to concentrate on his managerial duties this game, and kept himself out of the lineup.

TRx Softball Game 2 Write-up – Even More Confusing Than Lost (Which is What TRx Did)

Last night TRx had their home opener, and took on the dreaded Golden Gloves in what would turn out to be a bloodbath (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ld7MMZOep5o). The mere mention of their team name led to Greg breaking down in tears with a sense of loss, as he missed former teammate Chris “Hit King” Golden, who has been stranded at home with brother Timmy for the last 3 years for fear of the next crippling snow storm. While it might have been hot outside yesterday, somewhere, it must be snowing (perhaps in another universe?). These wouldn’t be the last tears leaving Greg’s body, in what would be a long game, yet one which would not go a full 7 innings.

2010 Softball Game 1 - They Say You Can Always Come Home

They say you can always come home (unless you are homeless, in which case you are always home), and yesterday marked the triumphant return of two former TargetRx mainstays- the infamous softball team, and the man, the myth, the legend, Ken Buonocore. After a 3 year hiatus from league play due to the disbanding of the former incarnation of the TRx softball team caused by mismanagement of team funds by Greg from Finance (which may have paid for his wedding to former scorekeeper Dana), a new triumvirate came forth to resurrect this former beast from the dead. In a lucid alcohol-induced dream, Old Demps had a vision of the Mike Berardi doing the Mad Elf dance and singing “If you build it, they will come” while prancing through the outfield, much as he did during TRx’s last official softball game. After waking up with cold sweats and screaming, Dempsey knew something had to be done to eliminate the memories of such a nefarious character, who was probably talking about the children’s playground near the field in the dream. He quickly assembled the brain trust of Brian “Tick Tock” Dividock and Krysta “The Shiv” Shivick to go about assembling a new softball squad to rise like the Phoenix from the ashes (and keep the funds away from Greg, who never got free jersey’s for previous teams due to his money laundering). This team would be represent the Olympic motto- Citius, Altius, Fortius… or at least be a bunch of people who enjoy the occasional happy hour before and/or after a softball game.