7/5/11 Volleyball Game Recap: A House Divided Against Itself Cannot Stand

As Abraham Lincoln (Vampire Hunter?) said, "a house divided against itself cannot stand," which proved true in the long-awaited intra-office volleyball game between Target R and Target X on Tuesday, 7/5.  With news of the balance-of-power-altering trade of KB from Target R to Target X still taking the league by storm, an odd explosive quiet occupied the halls of TargetRx throughout that fateful day.  Mean Joe, unable to sleep since said trade/giveaway of KB, was antsy with anticipation, and just kept repeating the words "Set," "Bump," and "Spike over and over again.  Luckily, no one named Spike with ties to the cocaine industry works at TRx, or else many bumps would have been set up, potentially leading to the forfeiture of games due to failed drug tests by Mean Joe and his team.

Meanwhile, Kevin's team was at ease.  In preparation for this epic battle, Target X all read the "both educational and entertaining" tome from the mind of Patrick, The Evolution of Revolutions.  Armed with the knowledge of how we create, shape, and react to change, Target X (not to be confused with TargetX, which began with a cocktail napkin) was fully prepared to take on the height of the Towers of Power (Mike and Joe), the enormity of GLG's bulbous dome, the deadly service of Nicki, and the skilled acumen of Aaron and Frank (not to mention the potential explosiveness of Aaron's Frank).

Upon arriving at the courts, mayhem ran rampant, as there were missing balls (mostly from Joe's team, who couldn't handle their fear of Target X).  Eventually, Mean Joe Ford finally showed up in Joe's Mean Ford to save the day.  During the warmup, Target X continued to inspire fear in the hearts and minds of the lesser team, as Patrick had a vicious stuff of Mike Bell at the net.  Greg's hands were shaking so much he was forced to resort to using his feet.

Highlights of the game itself included Jumping Josh Flash making the most of his last TRx sporting event, by running all over the place (he must be trying to get elected to the volleyball All Star team as well), KB doing a split, forcing him into speaking in a high voice the rest of the game, and an inspirational appearance by Patrick's family.

After losing the first set, Mean Joe starting praying (although is it really praying if you are cursing the whole time?).  Target R started picking up steam in the second set, giving Joe a false sense of confidence.  This led to the best serve of the game, by Nicki (although P-tinski may have taken a dive to help her out).  However, Mean Joe has previously negotiated a practice serve for her, so what could have been a turning point in the match ended up meaningless.  With such great negotiation skills, Joe should be put on the sales team...  Yet even without Nikki's powerful serve, somehow Target R managed to even the match at a set apiece.

In the third set, Brian started making a mockery of Joe's prayers, by going with the prayer/chop return.  During the back-and-forth third set, Kevin all of the sudden became a stickler for the rules, calling Joe out for jumping into the net.  This despite the fact that probably 80% of the hits would be rendered illegal in a legit game.  However, this mental warfare worked, and Target X prevailed. 

In the end, Kevin and Kate (Brian's sister) plus Eight (minus 3) defeated Target R 15-12, 11-15, 15-10, and all was right in the world.  Taking a cue from Theresa, they had "skimmed the foam" of TargetRx volleyball.  If there had been a mometary wager on the outcome of the game, Target X was in discussions to re-purchase the third floor, and build a staircase to it in the most ideal place possible- right next to another staircase, before realizing that was a stupid idea.  Meanwhile, with KB reamining undefeated by winning his second game with his second team, he will now be traded to yet another team in the league.  At this rate, he is going to get passed around more often than the Analyst/Consultant/Solutionist department gets renamed...