Last night (7/19), part two of the great Target R-Target X volleyball feud took place on the mean v-ball courts of Horsham. Temperatures were expected to reach over 100 degrees, and that was just from Joe and Kevin's blood boiling over the chance to once again destroy each other and prove who was the marginally better tall, lanky, poor excuse for an athlete.
With the game about to start and Mean Joe still missing in action, Target R feared Kevin's ability to spike with impunity while pretending the ball was Joe's dome (he would have broken his hand if he pretended it was GLG's bulbous dome). In an attempt to throw off Kevin and Target X, Frank devised a devious rotation based on his advanced studies in string (cheese) theory. With Target R bodies flying everywhere on the first serve, this strategy nearly backfired, as no one knew where their teammates were. In fact, GLG was heard proclaiming "Oh my God... I could feel him coming," before realizing the implications of his statement and quickly backpedaling.
Luckily, Target R was armed with a multitude of fresh substitutes and were able to conserve energy until Mean Joe finally arrived after a quick stop at the hospital/back alley chemist. After incurring numerous wounds from a vicious Frisbee golf match over the weekend (though he'll claim it was ultimate Frisbee), Joe was in need of a quick blood doping from the infamous Dr. Anthony Galea. Rumor has it he offered him double honoraria for his next five surveys in exchange for the procedure, and even told him the metrics and weightings that go into DPS/SMQ/latest flavor of the week.
Upon his arrival, a Mean Joe immediately served the ball into the parking lot, and began celebrating. KB, thinking that Joe had been doing some other doping, quickly got jealous and roofied his own Gatorade. Luckily, the antics of these two did not do too much damage to Target R's challenge, as Mike Bell, Aaron, Terry, and Gabriela locked down the team.
Midway through the first set, Kevin began making up rules and attempting to call violations on Target R, including a carry on an amazing save by Terry, an attempt to block a serve by Frank, and a name violation on Gabriela for having only one L in her name. Without access to the official Kevin rules, Target R laughed them off, and won the first set 15-11.
In the second set, the fresh bodies of Target R (and their well-rested bodies as well) continued to pay dividends. Joe continued to pretend he was playing tennis by grunting on each attempted spike. However, eventually the grunting starting to take something out of him, as after hitting the ball 8 consecutive times, he was rejected at the net by Brian. On another attempt he got the ball over, but somehow fell down.
But in the end, as Kevin got more and more frustrated, Target R took over and won the match, on five consecutive serves towards P-tinski on the back line. I think he just now dove for the last one. Target R finished with a 15-11, 15-7 victory, as KB remained undefeated in intra-company games. The water GLG brought was much appreciated by all, as GLG came to the game a Water-boy, but left it a Water-Man.
After the game, Kevin was ready to forfeit Target X's next game against Telerx, ashamed of his and his team's performance. Yet in another stunning move, KB in his roofied state traded himself to Target X, and convinced Kevin to play the next game, with an offer of extra roofies helping his cause. As Kevin so elequently stated, "Is there ever such a thing as too many roofies?"
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