Thursday, July 28, 2011

7/26 Target R Volleyball Game- Lost Without Joe

On Tuesday (7/26) Target R took on the undefeated Orbit in verified volleyball action.  After having a plethora of players at their previous game, Target R was back to fielding a forceful fivesome of KB, Aaron, Frank, Mike, and Gabriela.  Missing Mean Joe's youthful exuberance, this was a game filled with love, deception, greed, lust, and... unbridled enthusiasm.  You see, much like Billy Mumphrey, Mean Joe was a simple country boy.  Some might say a cockeyed optimist, who got caught up in the dirty game of world diplomacy and international intrigue... or he was just getting a quick fix by locking himself in a dark basement watching Ultimate Frisbee highlights.

Monday, July 25, 2011

TRx Softball Game 10 Recap: The Jerkstore Called...

On Friday, July 22, TRx was scheduled to play Connexin Software, in what would have been an alcohol-fueled orgy of bacchanalia.  However, given the late start time of 6:30, on a Friday, and the potential absence of 90% of the team, Coach Demps tried to reschedule this game.  After much back and forth, and a plethora of emails from Liberty, TRx had to forfeit, as Demps and Aaron would have been the only players there.  Everyone else (or at least KB) would have likely been passed out drunk. 

Later the following week, Detective LeGrand used his bulbous dome to research the shenanigans that went down.  Apparently, Connexin forfeited their game on 7/27, marking their third forfeit of the year.  Given their stellar commitment to the league, they were kicked out due to the number of forfeits.  Apparently, all three of their "wins" this year came off of Friday forfeits by the other team.  Their depravity knows no bounds, as these assholes specifically scheduled Friday games hoping the other team wouldn't show up to get victories.  This led to GLG and Demps filing an official complaint with the league, which should probably get them kicked out of the league, as now one cares...

But as far as Connexin goes, they are the latest nominees for Asshole of the Year.  Connexin, the jerkstore called, and they're running out of you!

Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Target X Volleyball Recap (7/19 Game 2): T.E.A.M.- Target R Easily Accomplishes Mission

On Tuesday, a tired Target X took on the tragically tenacious Telerx team of tools and twits.  Fresh off of a stinging loss to Target R that caused Kevin to contemplate the very nature of his existence, only one thing could ease his mind (besides a trip to Double Visions)- the re-addition of KB to the team.  It was as if it were a scene straight of of Brian's still-in-progress novel, as enemies become friends (when bitterness ends).

TRx Intra-Company Volleyball Game 2 (7/19): Rules? How We're Playing, We Don't Need No Stinkin Rules

Last night (7/19), part two of the great Target R-Target X volleyball feud took place on the mean v-ball courts of Horsham.  Temperatures were expected to reach over 100 degrees, and that was just from Joe and Kevin's blood boiling over the chance to once again destroy each other and prove who was the marginally better tall, lanky, poor excuse for an athlete.

TR Volleyball Game Recap (7/12): Four Ain't Fair

On Tuesday night (7/12), Target R took on Kriesher Miller in a repeat of their game two weeks ago.  After last weeks trade of KB rocked the volleyball league to its core, an even more stunning trade occurred earlier this week- KB for Steve (who hasn't showed up to any games), Mean Joe's Ford, and a favor from Terry.  Knowing this trade would make Target R unstoppable, during negotiations Terry said to Kevin "what do you need me to do?  Whack a guy?  Off a guy?  Whack off a guy?"  While nefarious thoughts danced through Kevin's head, in the end he decided to simply have Terry keep his seat at Double Visions warm until he got there after Target X's game.

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

TRx Softball Game 9 Recap: The Curse Of Olde English Has Been Lifted

On Monday night, 7/11 (doubles?), TRx took on on the Liquient Regulators, in TRx's first game without Josh.  Before starting his new job, he took a quick pit stop in Phoenix, Arizona, to see if his PBC Sports All-Star berth would transfer over to the Major League All Star game, but was laughed right out of Chase Field, despite all of the professionals who had dropped out of the game either due to injury or pitching on Sunday.  To add insult to injury, after being escorted off of the premises, police questioned him pursuant to SB1070, and demanded to see his immigration papers.  However, all Josh had was his Ice Road Trucker registration.  Unable to prove his legal status, Josh was deported to Mexico, where he is now trying to become a real-life Kenny Powers.

Sunday, July 10, 2011

Power of the Masses = The Downfall Of Society

A few things of note happening this week...  well, probably more than a few, but given the explosion of Twitter/Facebook/whatever new medium is out there (Google +), there are a bunch of posts by the idiot masses of society, of which very few subjects actually matter:

Thursday, July 7, 2011

7/5/11 Volleyball Game Recap: A House Divided Against Itself Cannot Stand

As Abraham Lincoln (Vampire Hunter?) said, "a house divided against itself cannot stand," which proved true in the long-awaited intra-office volleyball game between Target R and Target X on Tuesday, 7/5.  With news of the balance-of-power-altering trade of KB from Target R to Target X still taking the league by storm, an odd explosive quiet occupied the halls of TargetRx throughout that fateful day.  Mean Joe, unable to sleep since said trade/giveaway of KB, was antsy with anticipation, and just kept repeating the words "Set," "Bump," and "Spike over and over again.  Luckily, no one named Spike with ties to the cocaine industry works at TRx, or else many bumps would have been set up, potentially leading to the forfeiture of games due to failed drug tests by Mean Joe and his team.


Friday, July 1, 2011

TRx Volleyball Game 5 Recap: Return of the New Guy

On Tuesday, 7/28 Target R finally played their third game of the season, after postponements the previous two weeks.  Mean Joe must have been going insane with anticipation, as he lives for these games.  However, all that waiting made it that much better when he realized KB would be making an appearance at the game.  As these two star-crossed former colleagues saw each other across the sand, time stood still.  Finally, the began running towards each other in slow motion and embraced, and all was right in the world.