Last night, in a sad state of affairs, the dream season of the TRx softball team came to a disappointing end at the hands of the Blue Sox. With one playoff loss already, it was do or die time for TRx to attempt to continue on in the double elimination tournament. However, in this case, TRx chose death, as they suffered a humiliating 15-5 loss, as the mercy rule was invoked in the 4th inning. In fact, it may have been the worst game ever played by the team, and the blame for this is clearly on Captain Berardi. After Monday's painful 7-2 loss, B-Rad decided to mix things up, putting himself at the rover position in the field, and batting 7th, with Legrand taking over the 2 spot, while keeping the hot-hitting Buonocore at the 8th spot in the lineup. As most of Berardi's decisions usually do, this one failed, as Legrand and the Elf combined to go 1-4, while KB went 2-2. The utilization of the rover was also a terrible idea, as the Blue Sox guided their hits to the open spots at will (although even if they hit it right at Berardi, he'd probably screw it up anyway).
On the offensive end, things started off much like they ended on Monday- with TRx going down in order in the top of the 1st, highlighted by Greg making the most of his insertion at the 2 spot with a towering pop up that barely made it past the pitchers mound. Remington almost put TRx ahead with a long fly ball to left that would likely have been a sure home run (even for someone as slow and decrepit as JR), if not for the amazing, Manny-esque catch by their left-center fielder. In the bottom of the first, Berardi proved that he had a profound scouting report on the Blue Sox, as when the first batter came up to bat, he directed the team "this guy usually hits it to the right side... except when he doesn't," and then proceeded to "rove" to the left side of the field. Needless to say, it was hit to the right side, where Berardi should have been positioned, and started the Blue Sox off on a 4 run rally.
In the top of the 2nd, the bats of TRx finally came alive, as Manny, Tom/Steve Loomis/Legrand, Berardi, Buonocore and Ana all came through with solid base hits. Golden also reached base in the inning, on a fielders choice. TRx got three runs in, to cut the lead to 4-3. There was a Mad Elf sighting on the base paths as well, with Berardi up to his usually shenanigans. After a solid base hit by Ana (one of the hardest hit balls of the day for TRx), Berardi pranced around the bases, eventually sliding into home to score, and rip his pants. Rumor has it he purposely was running slow so he would need to slide, and also purposely tore his pants beforehand, just so they would rip and he'd get to show off his smooth shaven legs.
In the bottom of the 2nd, TRx gave up two more runs, but answered back in the top of the third, scoring twice as well. This rally was fueled by Remington's double and Tom/Steve Legrand/Loomis hitting a solid line drive down the third base line for a home run (and his second hit of the game) to cut the deficit to 6-5. Berardi then made the third out of the inning, as he attempted to get out of his earlier promise of paying for the entire happy hour tab if TRx won the game. What a faulty little elf...
In the bottom of the third, the wheels began to come off for TRx, as almost everyone on the team took turns paying homage to the Mad Elf by impersonating him and making numerous errors. GLG, showing he is clearly on the downward swing of his career misplayed a few routine ground balls. Given the chance to make up for it by turning two double plays, he threw like Berardi, as both balls were in the dirt at first, and KB could not handle them- or perhaps he was making good on his pregame promise to not catch anything Greg threw to him. However, while he didn't catch either one, he did get in front of them, unlike a routine ground ball to the right side, which he barely extended his glove for as it rolled past for a hit. After seeing Remington's face of disbelief at his lack of effort, KB said "did you like my hustle on that one?" much to JR's amusement. Manny also got in on the action, as he let a catchable fly ball sail over his head for a grand slam. Orr choose to go with the fall-down-and-throw-while-on-the-ground school of Berardi-ism. Orr also did the Berardi-patented let-the-ball-roll-under-the-glove while in the outfield. The only fielders who did not make any errors this inning may have been Kim, Meg, and Lori...
Trailing 11-5, TRx had hopes for a big 4th inning, with stars KB and AT coming up to bat. As usual, KB got on base, but the key play of the inning, and perhaps the game came was Shannon was up. After making solid contact on a ground ball to the left side, she was showing off her speed (while looking for an invite to participate in the great Ken-Meg race to be held at some point). The throw to first was obviously going to be late, yet in an underhanded, devious play, the first baseman straddled the base, and threw a vicious hip check into Shannon, to the horror of her teammates. As Shannon sprawled through the air, seemingly in slow motion, a horrific gasp came from the crowd. Their first baseman then went over to her, and began kicking her while she was down, as well as spitting on her. Blood was splattered everywhere in a shocking scene. Berardi, who had a bird's eye view of the scene as first base coach, quickly ran to the fracas. Yet instead of attempted to help Shannon, all he was interested in was intercepting the spit, as it got all over his face, as he smiled and rubbed it in. It was a very creepy scene, but standard B-Rad procedure, as he does have some kind of operation... Unlike last year's similar collision incident, where fan favorite Jeff Kohl almost tried to fight a girl, Shannon took this malicious attack in stride, with nary a complaint. Ahhh, Jeff Kohl, how we don't miss thee... Orr then proceeded to record the third out of the inning, to finish the day 0-3. Apparently, he hasn't been partaking in said honeymoon activities that helped him play so well in Monday's game...
Disgruntled after Shannon's tragic injury, TRx again shat the bed in the bottom half of the inning. First the Elf attempted to not go out to play the field, as he wanted to be closer to the fans. Then Remington got even more nervous, and walked a female from the other team for the second time in the game. JR was definitely more Peanut than Bear in this inning, as the Blue Sox proceeded to score 4 more runs to take a 15-5 lead, and mercifully end the game via Mercy Rule.
After the game, Berardi was seen dancing for joy given that he would now not be obliged to pay for the tab at happy hour, but part of him was also sad to see the end of the season. He gathered the team together for an emotion end-of-season speech, during which he proclaimed "I know we could all go on with our lives and we'd all be fine, but I've seen what we could be like together. And I choose us." While most players continued to ignore all that the Elf says, tears began to stream down GLG's face. All he could say was "I wish I knew how to quit you Mike Berardi," as they embraced and kissed a little. Greg may have even offered B-Rad the three-touch opportunity.
The one positive note from the game was the enormous crowd that came out, including Kathy, Angela, Anthony, Sarah, Sarah, Amanda, Sam, Mean Joe Ford, Carl, and numerous dogs and boyfriends (and some boyfriends who are dogs), and others. Mean Joe provided the comic relief by bringing along a kids chair to sit in. In fact, rumor has it he still may be at the field, as he was unable to get out of said chair, as all of the fans taunted him. The only thing better than having a large fan base is disappointing a large fan base, so in that respect, TRx was a winner. After the game, the disappointed fans proclaimed "If there's one thing I hate more than Berardi, it's the Blue Sox..."
After the game, a most special happy hour was held in memory of the season that was. Further appearances were made by Greg Smith, Dana, Lindy Sue, Jen, and Tom O. Berardi tried to start things off with a bang, as he nearly walked in wearing only boxers. Why he was only wearing boxers, the world will never know, but lets hope its not because he drove over with GLG... Copious amount of food and beverage were consumed, included some of B-Rad's favorite things- apps and shots, although he was very disappointed that no one wanted to split a bag. Weed mang came out to show his support for the Seafood Palace and TRx, and was witness to a real shite-show, with much waaaaing (done mostly by Berardi), as well Berardi going in for a near kiss on Sam, rubbing himself against Tom/Steve and KB, and threatening to leave on numerous occasions (unfortunately, most of them were only threats, as he subjected everyone to his presence until late night). Jealousy was also running rampart, as Berardi once again realized how small his head is in comparison to Greg's (as further illustrated by the photo below). Twas truly a happy hour, that turned into a happy 5 hours for a select few, and ending with the manager attempted to get Ken and Greg to leave by offering them free drink coupons (as well as free DUIs) "for next time" and shutting down all the taps. Before leaving, Golden finally gave his true opinions of all members of the team, as he was heard saying "F you (Greg from Finance), F you (Remington), F you (Manny), you're cool (Ben Lin), F you (Berardi), I'm out," as he left in a fit of rage over the poor performance of the team...
In closing, Berardi also gave a preview of next years team... Through advances in science, elf cloning is now possible, and the team will be entirely made up of Mad Elves... which means while having very little talent, they will at least be entertaining to watch, making numerous errors, having to have 12 cutoff elves just to throw from third base to first (if the Elf at third can even catch the ball), and making numerous baserunning blunders... The world as we know it may never be the same again...
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