Before the game, a hush fell over the thousands in the stands, in anticipation of the emergence of the new TRx softball team. Soon the crowd started going wild, as they first thing they saw was Greg’s bulbous head as he emerged from the TargetRx office building. Twenty minutes later, the roars got even louder (and Bear, aka JR wasn’t even there), as the team emerged from centerfield, in a true Field of Dreams moment.
Women fainted at the site of TO’s rugged facial hair. Children swarmed Steve for his autograph after following his division 3 practice team career. Men fell to their knees to propose to Krysta, Christin, and Monika. However, once the hoodlum Josh showed up, everyone went running for the hills, as they thought the Unabomber was back.
As the visiting team, TRx was up to bat first against mighty Kellogg. Luckily, Kellogg was shorthanded, and had only 9 players, as Tony the Tiger (http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Tony_the_Tiger) was MIA, and the Keebler Elf was visiting the Mad Elf in jail (http://www.wickedlocal.com/weymouth/news/x1596619138/Local-man-faces-third-drunk-driving-charge). Also, the opposing team’s first baseman had an injured leg, courtesy of being shivved by Krysta prior to the game. All this amounted to TRx’s bats snapping, crackling, and popping to the tune of 8 runs in the first inning, setting a new TargetRx record for runs scored in an inning. This performance was keyed by consecutive hits by Demps, Krysta (on her way to a 4-4 day at the plate), and Steve (getting a hit despite TO’s heckling from the first base coaching box), followed by back-to-back doubles by GLG and KB (each also 4-4). Later in the inning, sensing that the rout was on, Christin came up to bat. After ripping a line drive to the left side of the field, she began to show off her lightning-quick 40-foot dash speed. Unfortunately, the bases are 60 feet apart, as she was thrown out after pulling up 20 feet short of the base. Later, she explained it was all strategery, to make sure TRx got the requisite number of innings in to secure an official victory.
In the field, Old Demps took control on the mound, showing complete ownership of the plate, despite having not pitched in over 3 years, and having to toss the ball 3x his height, to get it to the required 9 feet. Granted, he did this by throwing behind some batters, but this intimidation tactic worked, and TRx’s defense also worked, despite some miscues early. Josh played a solid left field, despite showing blatant disregard for the cutoff man on any ball hit his way. Greg had one of his patented sliding catches to end the game. Steve showing off his arm, gunning Kellogg’s gimpy first baseman at first from mid-centerfield, adding insult to injury. David handled most of the ball’s hit his way cleanly, but after fielding them, forgot what sport he was
playing and started making bounce passes to first. Luckily, all were handled for outs, even as the females on their team seemingly beat them out. But by that point, the umpire was tired, and it was getting dark (JR would have been scared).
Other highlights included Krysta trying to take out David, with a screaming shot down the line. After seeing KB hit one earlier in the game, TO began his assault on the TRx homerun record, but kept popping out to short (although during his last at-bat, the ball at least reached the outfield). Also in the game, Steve had the first strikeout of the season- the debate is still on whether this was due to or in spite of TO’s coaching advice from first.
In the end, TRx had great success, beating Kellogg 16-8 in 6 innings. After the game, all Kellogg could say is “They’re GR-R-REAT!” Next game is next week (5/4) against the Golden Gloves. It should be a bloodbath…
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