In a game they had to win to advance to the playoffs, TargetRx took on the Advanta Blue Sox in life-or-death action on Monday. Faced with missing the playoffs following last weeks shellacking, things didn’t look good for TRx going into the game, following their 16-5 loss the previous week. They were clearly on the ropes going into the game, as “real” captain GLG decided to play in the outfield instead of playing shortstop, as Golden took over this vital position. TRx was missing Ol Demps, who was so angry about having to split time with Blin at EH last week, he decided to skip both the game and happy hour, something the Old Ol Demps never would have done (specifically the happy hour part).
Early on, KB was clearly on his game from the mound, toying with each of the batters. Advanta managed to score two quick runs, but TRx answered right back with two of their own, as Greg decided the best way to prepare to play left for the rest of the game was to hit a homerun to deep left-center.
TRx continued to battle, pulling out all the stops. In the second inning, Blin reach base, and as the team began to hit the ball, once again ran through a stop sign at third. Quickly aware that there would be a play at the plate, a look of menace came over Blin’s face, as he realized he might be able to motivate the team with a devastated collision. However, he was still wearing his glasses, so he didn’t realize that the large mound at home was actual a woman, and not a dude. Finally, once he was within 3 feet of her he decided “maybe this isn’t such a good idea,” and quickly tried to use the Tripod to catapult himself over this behemoth. However, he couldn’t get it up in time, and instead barreled into her with all his might, knocking her to the ground. As the other team began to get riled up, Blin figured he might as well continue to make a mockery of her, and began to kick dirt and spit on her, screaming “Take this as a non-verbal signal, and gave her the finger as he walked away confidently. Things quickly devolved, as the umpire immediately kicked Blin out of the game, and the other team began to get their bats to attack Blin. GLG quickly jumped in, and punted Blin 80 yards back to his vehicle, where he then drove to the nearest bar, and lined up shots to drink away his guilt. Although his guilt was only because TRx then had to take an out each time Blin was up after he got kicked out of the game.
As the game continued, KB quickly gave up a few runs to try to appease the Blue Sox, including a towering homerun over GLG. However, TRx would not be denied on this day, as they quickly took the lead, fueled by 4-4 days by GLG and JR, as well as 3 clutch RBI’s by Colizzo.
On defense, the team locked it down, with only one near collision in the outfield, as Bill could not slow himself down and almost ran over Doug on a fly ball to right. On another play, Golden threw a strike over the runners head (it may have actually hit his ear) to KB at home, who applied the tag to save a run. JR almost did the same thing from first, however, the throw was just late. TRx even managed to execute run-downs correctly, as on successive plays, Advanta got caught up between 2nd and 3rd. On one, JR got to show off his speed by chasing the runner down, and on the other, Shannon quickly applied the tag on a throw by Golden.
In the end, TRx triumphed, as the Elf jumped for joy and screamed like a little schoolgirl (or for a little schoolgirl), and all thanks the sweet Lord for Ben the Woman Basher, whose spirited trucking of the 45 year old female catcher started things off with a BANG BANG BANG.
Later, Blin said he plans on hitting all the females on the other team, although he may not have been talking about collisions.
TRx now plays next Tuesday for their first playoff game (still looking for their first win under “Coach” Berardi). Updated stats for the regular season are attached.
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