As the game started, TRx went into scramble mode, as Friar Truck (Josh) was nowhere to be found. To confuse the other team before he arrived, TRx kept changing defensive positions, with KB moving from 1B to SS and back, Greg moving from SS to LF and back, David moving from 2B to outfield and back, Dempsey moving from outfield to 2B and back, and many other iterations. At one point, Dempsey called for TRx to move into the flying V formation and gave a rousing speech while screaming “DUCKS FLY TOGETHER” (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RzJY_K0cX1c) before remembering that this was softball and not hockey. Luckily, Josh soon appeared, as he had been delayed at the weigh station before trying to find room to park his truck in the lot. Hopefully the Unabomber wasn’t also trying to put a stop to another family-friendly Horsham tradition, such as the Swan Walk (http://www.wscountytimes.co.uk/news/Bomb-scare--Swan-Walk.4134875.jp).
Amid the chaos in the field, Reed managed to take an early 1-0 lead in the first. But this would be the game where the TRx bats kicked into high gear. In the bottom of the first, nearly everyone got a hit, as at least the first 8 batters reached base. TRx ended up putting up 10 runs in one of their biggest innings to date. As the hits just kept on coming, even Barack Obama was getting excited, and began to relive his earlier music video days while screaming “WHOOP THERE IT IS” and dancing in the Oval Office (http://gawker.com/5556281/was-obama-in-the-1993-music-video-for-whoomp-there-it-is). Dempsey got to show off his track star speed in reaching base, but as the runs piled up, he also began to take pity on the other team, and tried to refuse to score from third even after the throw home had gone out of play. Regina tried to follow in Dempsey’s footsteps later, as she stopped 5 feet short of home plate and began walking back to third before finally running home as Terry told her to keep going on one of Christin’s multiple hits. Christin later finally ran completely through the base at first to beat the throw, and even threw in a scream at the first baseman to distract him. Rumor has it her rebel yell was “you ain’t gonna catch this one,” an homage to Nate Dogg, as GLG screamed from the bench “Dear God” (the title of Nate’s book). Later, Greg once again proved adept at going the other way, twice getting base hits to right field. When KB tried to do the same, instead of hitting a fly ball into the woods, he popped out to third.
On the defensive end, TRx’s star shined bright. Despite David’s yelling “Demp’s you got it” on a fly ball to right center, Dempsey made the catch, and then yelled at David – “Stop doing that! No means no!,” words he’s heard many times before. Dempsey later made a similar catch showing his range in the outfield, this time with minimal interference. Christin once again showed that while hockey season might have ended, her skills are still a notch above the rest of the league. With bases loaded, Terry induced a ground ball back to him that he fired home to Christin to get the out. Later, she made an accidental thigh save, making her case that she should replace Tim Howard should he be injured for the U.S. in the World Cup again. Greg had a chance for another patented throw-off-your-hat, yet once again denied the fans what they wanted to see. However, for the first time all season, TRx successfully executed a double play, with GLG fielding the ball up the middle, stepping on second, and firing it to KB, who did his best Stretch Armstrong impression to complete the play.
Later, there was a near-collision that would have devastated the upper management of TargetRx. On a pop-up toward the right side of the infield, both Terry and David moved towards the ball. As Aaron screamed out, in slow motion, “N-o-o-o-o-o-o” Terry made the acrobatic catch, while doing a full flip over a sliding David. Luckily, no one was injured, but now the rest of the team fears that these two may leave the team to start a two-man synchronized dance troupe. While not injured on the play, the next inning, David strangely began walking out to right field, and in a reversal of their usual roles, Terry got to yell at David that he was waiting for his fielders to get in position. Also during the game, Ice Road Trucker Josh made a bold statement out in left, that he was going to play in for the next batter, while two runners were on base, despite pleas from the infield that a good batter was up. Of course, on the next pitch the ball sailed over Josh’s head as two runs scored. Luckily, he had his truck with him in the field, and got the ball back to the infield quickly before the batter could score on a home run, but this cut the deficit to 12-3 and put implementation of the 10 run rule in doubt.
Throughout the game, the infectious laughter of children spread joy into the hearts of everyone and reminded us how we used to be, as Steve’s kids (at least let’s hope they were his kids) kept the mood light as they cheered for “Daddy.” And Daddy did not disappoint, spreading inspiring lessons not just for the children and the beauty the possess inside, but for society. His first lesson of the day was patience, as during his first at-bat Steve calmly took a few pitches before getting a base hit. He didn’t even let Lefty Bizarro Blin's taunting get in his head, as said Hawaiian yelled out “This guy’s like that couple in the corner at a key party… Not swinging.” Lesson 2 was sacrifice, as Steve made a sliding catch in centerfield, sacrificing his body for the good of the team. The finally lesson was sharing. With TRx holding a 12-3 lead in the bottom of the fifth and Josh on base, Steve could have been the hero. As the crowd started chanting “Daddy… Daddy…” even the umpire got into it. In response to Greg pleading from the on-deck circle to not hit in Josh, Steve decided to share the glory, simply getting a base hit to allow Greg’s bulbous head to get even bigger than it already is and get the game-clinching hit.
After seeing all the lessons Steve had taught during the day, all Reed could do was admit that yes, the children are our future. In fact, they were so impressed, that they requested a lesson from Steve as well- Reed wanted to learn to read. However, this was one lesson Steve would not be teaching them, as all he did was point to the scoreboard and laugh in their face. At this point, Reed had to make like Pedro Martinez towards the Yankees, and like Steve’s kids, and call Steve their Daddy (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y07V3tSqgr0). The Flyin’ Hawaiian could only go home to his robot wife, and mourn the loss of his and Pedro’s little friend, Nelson de la Rosa (http://www.dominicantoday.com/dr/local/2006/10/29/19132/Nelson-De-La-Rosa-is-put-to-rest-in-his-native-Dominican-Republic). As Coach Dempsey smoked a victory cigarette, he could only dream about the lesson’s he will one day teach his kids. Let’s hope this isn’t one of them: (http://www.cnn.com/2010/WORLD/asiapcf/05/31/indonesia.smoking.baby/index.html?hpt=T3 ).
The 13-3 victory brings TRx to 5-1. Next game is Monday, June 21 at 6:30 against Softerware (3-2). Will they be true to their names and wear softer uniforms than TRx? Will they be under the influence of ED drugs to overcome their flaccidity? Will TRx kill them softly with their song? Stay tuned…
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