Dez Bryant - New Candidate For Asshole Of The Year

Dez Bryant has had quite the past few weeks.  First this stupid motherfucker gets in trouble at the NorthPark Center mall.  Who even goes to the mall these days? I'll tell you who- 8th graders, and people looking to pick up 8th graders. Reports say that either Dez or members of his crew were approached by police due to their low-hanging pants. So as the General Larry Platt would say, Dez Bryant was looking like a fool with his pants on the ground... In fact, this will probably be him in 40 years after his NFL career ends, he spends all his money, and with no other discernible skills has to resort to thinking back on his idiocy from this year.

Gotta love an NFL player using profanity and creating a commotion in a public place. The best part about this story is it isn't even his first time getting in trouble at this mall! His other incidents include police intervention after he cut in line at a store (probably due to his excitement over buying more pants he can sag), a parking citation for parking in a fire lane (he didn't want to be too far from the entrance, as he was afraid he would trip over his pants while they were on the ground), and a "major disturbance" at one of the restaurants in the mall (another pants malfunction?). A real top-notch individual... If it looks like an asshole and acts like an asshole, it's probably an asshole.

It actually makes sense that Dez doesn't have pants that fit- he has probably spent all his NFL money (and whatever money he was given under the table while at Oklahoma State) on needless jewelry, despite knowing about the need to save money due to the upcoming NFL lockout. In fact, he is now facing not one, but TWO lawsuits for a combined $846,000 over money owed due to jewelry purchases, tickets to sporting events, and personal loans.  Among the jewelry purchases- a custom diamond engagement ring.  To my knowledge, Bryant is neither engaged nor married, although he does have two children with two different mothers, so he's got that going for him, which is nice.  On top of that, he has also faced legal action in Oklahoma over failure to pay rent while at Oklahoma State. 

Dez Bryant, for all of these reasons (and probably numerous others which haven't come to light yet), you are the latest candidate for Asshole Of The Year.  Congratulations.  At least you will always have this endorsement opportunity...