TRx Softball Game 2 Writeup- When "The Animal" Attacks

As some people may have heard, there has been some big news over the last few days.  Yes, the royal wedding was a rousing success (although Greg pulled off Kate Middleton's dress much better while in drag the previous weekend).  Sure, somehow Fast Five pulled in $86.2 million at the box office, demonstrating the increasing stupidity of America.  Of course, Justin Bieber was hit with eggs at a concert in Australia, in what was certainly a g'day, mate.  But most importantly, TRx had their second game of the young season, and came away with a breathtaking victory of Krysta's cunning Kellogg compatriots.  Some of them may have even been linguists, too.

Greg never felt so pretty...

As this was KB's season debut, he decided to arrive early to scout Kellogg (and try to score some free cereal).  Somehow, they had over 20 players at the field before the second player for TRx showed up.  And surprisingly, it wasn't Mean Joe Ford, as he would have had a field day recruiting the other team for what could have been a 5th and 6th volleyball team.  When Krysta arrived, memories of last season overwhelmed her, and she instinctively skipped over to KB on the TRx bench.  Before her new teammates could drag her away kicking and screaming (but in a much more entertaining way than the Will Ferrell classic), KB imparted one piece of advice, knowing it would stick in her head and lead disastrous results for the rest of the game- don't hit it to GLG.  

This game also represented the season debuts of Terry, Kirk, and Craig "The Animal" Scott.  Each had a memorable entrance for the throng of fans in attendance.  As Terry walked confidently to the mound, the crowd went wild and started waving their Terry-ble Towels.  As Josh laid down the classic party beats, Animal from the Muppets (dressed like Craig in what looked almost like a full softball uniform) led the crowd in a rousing rendition of Ginuwine's classic (?) hit "In Those Jeans," in homage to Kirk's attire.

As Terry tried to get reacclimated to the pitching mound and the variable strike zone, the defense behind him was stellar.  After the Double D-inspired (which Kevin would have loved) obligatory "Wait for your fielders, Terry," he did just that, as Craig manned the hot corner, with GLG at short, Gabriela at the deuce, and KB at first.  With Craig using a glove that was twice as old as Gabriela, there was a lot of experience in the infield.  This experience came in handy, as the left side gobbled up everything hit to them.  GLG had a heads-up play (which is saying something when you're talking about his bulbous dome) to get the lead runner at third on one play, and Craig instigated the first double play of the year, fielding a grounder, stepping on third, and firing to first where KB made a solid scoop (there you go, JR).  He even put on his own slow-motion instant replay, so Kellogg could see what two scoops really looks like.  Suck it, Raisin Bran...

Other key defensive plays included a pop up to deep third that almost led to a collision between GLG and Craig.  Luckily, Greg kept his bulbous head up, and no one was injured as they both hugged it out.  Aaron almost added to the highlights while just missing a nice diving catch in the outfield.  On a pop-up to second, GLG and KB had a screaming match over who would be better suited to protect Gabriela.  They decided to make a cocoon-like shell around her, before KB caught the ball, and Gabriela emerged safe and sound.

Meanwhile, during the bottom of the first, as the TRx offense tried to offend, a fan asked "Why do fingers fing?"  However, other questions would arise on the first TRx hit of the game, as Josh seemingly beat out a grounder to the left side but was somehow called out.  To think, the one time Josh doesn't try to truck someone, he gets called out.  Craig was incredulous, and even asked the ump if he was joking.  This put in motion a series of makeup calls throughout the rest of the game for both teams leading to confusion all around, including when Aaron was called safe at first on a play where he was clearly out, only to be immediately called out at second where he was seemingly safe.  I hadn't seen that much makeup since last week, again when GLG was in drag...

Seeing the calls being made, the opposing left fielder knew what he had to do- get dirty enough that no one would be able to see him while he ran the bases.  In preparation for this, he quickly ran to the woods to shave off all body hair for safety purposes.  On his next at bat, after a fly ball to right center dropped, he raced safely to second, and slid from 15 feet away, reminiscing about the joys of Slip-n-Slide, and covering half of his body in dirt.  Later, after a fake throw to first by Craig, he was caught leaning towards third, and dove back into second, despite the fact that Craig was 30 feet away from him and no one was covering the base, coating the other half of his body. 

When asked about his sliding ways during the game, he claimed he was representing the dirty South.  Either that, or he was trying to dig to China.  Or perhaps he was related to The Mole, Busmalis from the HBO series Oz.  Regardless, as the bruises piled up, he eventually gave in to the pain, and asked to borrow Kirk's jeans as protection.

His mother was a mudda...

The bottom half of the lineup continued to carry the team offensively, keyed by Craig insalting the other team by peppering the field with pin-point placement of his base hits.  TRx picked up two key insurance runs in the 6th, giving them a 6-3 lead going into the seventh. 

Kellogg quickly put two runners on base, including the left fielder, now almost completely invisible against the brown of the dirt, as fears of a repeat of last game crept into the minds of the team.  Luckily, Terry induced a pop-up to the right side.  KB made a break for the ball, his long gazelle-like stride in full effect.  After waiting what seemed like an hour for the ball to fall, he caught it, and raced back to first, hoping that the invisible man (not Ralph Ellison) would not beat him there.  His speed worked, as TRx won on a game-ending double play, doubling the number of successful double plays in the game. 

In the end, TRx was a cereal killer and escaped with a 6-3 victory, as Krysta immediately asked for her old job back.  Without the joyful exuberance of Christin and motivation pep talks of Old Demps to cheer her on, and with KB's words still in her head, all she could only muster two ground-outs to GLG, and a walk.  Though in fairness to Terry, Greg did say he was tired during that at-bat, so Terry walked her on purpose to spare GLG more action.

With the victory, TRx is now 1-1.  While the offense did just enough to win, the defense was stellar, reminiscent of the GLG-Golden days, when they team was showered with praise.  And as Craig proved in his softball debut, it turns out the old commercials are true- nothing can stop... THE ANIMAL!

Oh yeah, and we killed that Osama guy, which I guess is a big deal.  America... F$%# YEAH.