After last year's close 6-5 TRx victory, which resulted in Verilogue being banned from use of all indoor bathrooms in 220 Gibraltar, Verilogue was pumped for this game. The dick-tionary defines Verilogue as "verified log," or at least that's what their team claimed to be, after having to hold it in their own office all year. In fact, Philadelphia Phillie Pete Orr's brother Ryan claimed going into the game that he was willing to get his log verified by any means necessary (thank God Berardi is no longer here). Yet their claims would prove to be false during this contest, as except for a first inning rally while TRx missed their usual position players, the only logs coming from Verilogue were either flaccid during the rest of the game, or were left steaming behind home plate. Meanwhile, TRx had been preparing for this game all day long, which resulted in an impromptu individualized rendition of the instant classic, Friday (see the full TRx lyrics here).
With TRx as the home team, Verilogue approached the plate first, despite missing their fearless (or fearful) leader Koz. Apparently, he was still searching for Duke on his NCAA bracket, as he recently heard that that Grant Hill kid is a player. Or he was just scared that KB would batter him with line drives just out of his reach once again. Hey, he's not CEO, president, and co-founder for nothing... plus he had just gotten a new shipment of M&M's in. But he knew his team was in good hands, with Orr and a juiced Jamison representing.
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| My best chance to make money is to bet on myself to not show up to the game! |
With KB, TO, and Steve showing up late after running into some 12 year old tough girls who wouldn't give up their candy (no really, we promise it was just candy we wanted), TRx was forced into scrambling for a defensive lineup in the first inning. Natural EH Demps was forced into right field, while Bob had to man first base without the usual glove he uses. These placements would come back to haunt TRx, as Old Demps missed a fly ball in the outfield, and Bob heard the footsteps at first, dropping what could have been the third out as one of the woman from Verilogue (sorry woman, I forgot your name) tried to prove herself as the true owner of Josh's nickname and completely TRUCKED Bob, who dropped the ball while being thrown 25 feet from the base. Verilogue jumped out to a quick 4-0 lead, but you know what they say about counting your logs before they fall in a forest with no one around to hear them...
Luckily, the three TRx stalwards showed up with only minimal damage being done. Steve risked life, limb, and the chance to sleep on his front lawn (in addition to the permanent possibility that he would get thrown out of the game), while TO emerged from the woods willing to help TRx instead of the other team with his illicit substances he usually sells. After Steve and TO showed up, KB finally arrived during the bottom of the first, as TRx tried to get back into the game. Apparently, Koz convinced his usual M&M delivery truck to unleash the fury, and let a massive quantity of M&Ms flow out of his usual delivery truck onto the PA Turnpike, causing traffic problems for KB. However, once he finally arrived, the TRx defense settled down, as Craig and GLG made terrific plays on the left side to made sure the Verilogue lead-off hitter would not reach base easily.
TRx slowly began to chip away from the deficit (as GLG said "awwww, chippin away"), scoring in the 2nd, 3rd, and 4th innings to cut the lead to 4-3. In the meantime, the TRx defense was en fuego, as they equaled the number of double plays they had turned to date, with three in this game. Aaron made a catch on the run in the outfield to double someone off first, and GLG continued to be a beast, using the gravitational pull of his bulbous head to pull every ball closer to him, allowing him to gobble up everything that came near him, step on 2nd, and fire to first. Even Gabriela got involved, sacraficing her leg on one relay in from the outfield to prevent the runners on first and second from advancing.
Facing an enormous 4-3 deficit, the TRx bats lit up in the bottom of the 5th. Steve reached on a double, with KB quickly knocking him home to tie the game, and later scored the go-ahead run. The top of the order then ran off a barrage of hits, including a GLG home run, as TRx scored five in the inning to take a commanding 8-4 lead.
In the top of the 6th, Lance Armstrong's latest pupil/guinea pig and presumed steroid user Jamison came up to bat. Earlier in the game he hit a solid shot deep in the hole, but JB knew he was playing the long con, and make sure he was thrown out, convincing TRx of his lack of speed. Despite his numerous acrobatic plays at first, TRx continued to not have faith in JB for the rest of the game. However, during that final at bat, after a mighty hack, Jamison started motoring around the bases. Time seemed to stand still for a while, as the time it took him to go from base to base kept increasingly exponentially. The 8 seconds it took him to reach first turned into 64 to reach second, 512 seconds to reach 3rd, and a full 4,096 seconds to reach home. In fact, despite how far he hit the ball (being the one time it seemed like someone used a verified log), he was still almost tagged out at home, and would have been if not for KB hearing the footsteps for a full minute and 8 seconds before finally bailing out in fear of being trucked. After such an expenditure of energy, Jamison passed out next to the bench for at least the next 30 minutes. In fact, there is a good chance he may still be there, as he certainly didn't come to the happy hour after the game... I get the Giro d'Horsham must have been going on...
With TRx holding a 8-5 lead, a random local asian genleman named Blin walked passed (before jumping on the Chinatown bus to go to his late-night job in AC) during the bottom of the 6th, offering insurance (runs) to TRx. Despite the fact that TRx had a prime scoring opportunity of Gabriela, Steve, and KB coming up, instead of hitting an 8 versus a 5, Old Demps decided to stay, putting TRx in the precarious position of having to hold a 3 run lead going into the 7th.
With the game on the line, Terry gave up a quick basehit before answering back with a huge strikeout. A hit and an out later, Verilogue had men on second and third, trailing by three with the always dangerous Orr up. As his former roommate, KB tried to contort his body into looking like the bearclaw bathtub Orr used to own, but without Remington (Bear) there, he was unsuccessful. Orr rocked a basehit up the middle, cutting hte deficit to 8-7. On the relay home, GLG quickly tried his lesser know signature move of the "backdoor charlie/drunken slip" (which is actually how he got his wife to marry him) to sneak the ball past Orr when he wasn't looking at first, but just missed him. Yet despite GLG's failed backdoor slip attempt, TRx quickly got the third out, pulling out the 8-7 victory.
The victory brings TRx to 3-1, and 2-0 lifetime versus Verilogue. However, Orr once again made TRx submit, as using his devil's logic he proved that Verilogue will always be on top of TRx. All of this despite where the wasteful, unnecessary staircase used to be... But some of us will always have the "April 2005- We Did It" shirts, and that's the kind of thing that makes it all worth it...
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| Who's house? RUN'S HOUSE!!! |
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