After last weeks devastating loss that eliminated TRx from playoff contention, multiple players were still unaccounted for. TO couldn't make it back from his 2-catch, 18 yard preseason debut with Cincinnati (http://sports.yahoo.com/nfl/boxscore?gid=20100808004). Brain had fallen into a deep depression, and was lounging in his own filth asking himself "Why?"
"Daddy" Steve had more bad examples to set in a round-about way to teach his son valuable life-lessons. Aaron just couldn't bear to see the sadness in Old Demps face, knowing that similar to the Eagles, he'd missed yet another shot at a championship.
Given this lack of players, TRx continued their season-long streak and put out another defensive alignment that had never been seen before, this time with KB at third, Old Demps at first, and MC Gold making his return in left center. Apparently, there is a reason KB usually plays first, as nearly all of his throws were errant towards first. Granted, with a small target to throw to with either Demps, or his mid-game defensive replacement, Double D, KB needed a human centipede out there to catch his wild throws (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IX8fKLjC__c). Or the team needed a mutant hybrid, to be called Triple D of David-Demps-Deatch, also such a mythical beast surely would have frightened all of the loving fans away.
With TRx as the visiting team and up first, there would be no chance to hear the infamous Double D motivational line of "Let's take it in the bottom!" And to think, Double D was even wearing semi-revealing shorts to aid in said taking. In the top of the first, the TRx bats finally came alive. Consecutive based hits by Trucker Josh, Terry, MC Gold, and Greg were followed by a base-clearing triple by KB (the only thing he did right all day- actually having to run to third took a lot out of him), and an additional RBI by Krysta, as TRx took a 5-0 lead.
Unfortunately, the defense would be tested early and often starting in the bottom of the first. MC Gold had a near-diving catch in the outfield that just trickled out of his glove. Then the KB Clown College show started (now with dancing Bears and baby giraffes- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AkMsSIjQXxo), as he cleanly fielded a ball to third, and fired the ball 20 away from Demps into the woods. Unbeknown to the rest of the team, KB was in cahoots with the league commissioner, who was in attendance, as well as Kelly from the TRx HR department (both there for legal reasons to minimize any controversy with The Mad Ump, who isn't actually that different from the Mad Elf). Under the guidance of GLG, the Commish found a scheme to launder money through the softball league, contingent on having to supposedly order many more softballs than were actually needed for the league. The only way this plan would work was with a player on the inside willing to sell his team down the river and purposely lose balls, and he knew just the man- KB. Between his multiple errant throws, and fouling 5 balls a game into the woods, this was a match made in money-laundering heaven.
To make this conspiracy work to perfection, KB actually had to field balls at third, and he had many opportunities. After watching GLG with a diving catch, KB made a diving stop of his own down the line. Also diving might be giving him a little too much credit... it was more like a slow-motion fall with KB breaking his fall and his glove just happening to be where the ball went. Later, KB got to show off his amazing 2 inch vertical on a leaping catch, which he really didn't have to jump for. One of the mean-spirited girls on their team then attempted to make a joke about something else that might be 2 inches, but GLG quickly jumped to KB's defense, quoting Brandon Lee in the cult classic "Showdown in Little Tokyo" (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SY6GvTY7E5U).
The TRx bats continued to be hot, led by the female contingent of Christin, Krysta, and Shannon. Shannon paid homage to her former teammate Ana, screaming multiple obscenities after a swing and a miss. She then channeled her rage, reaching base twice. Although, perhaps the Bimbos didn't like hearing such language, as their third baseman gave her a hard tag later in the game, in another instance where Triple D could have come in handy to protect her honor. Christin got to show off her speed, reaching base twice on solid hits. In fact, she almost reached base a third time, if not for Double D getting tagged out running to third. Krysta continued to light up the scoreboard as well, as the three females went a combined 15-16, and were responsible for more runs than TRx has scored the rest of the season.
In the field, when KB wasn't busy throwing balls away, the rest of the team had their ups and downs. On one ground ball, the runner from the other team made like Nate and screamed "BOOGETY BOOGETY BOOGETY" as he ran to first, and then hip-checked poor Old Demps out of the way. Those miscreants had no respect for their elders... This led to Demps dropping a throw from GLG later in the game, as he heard the footsteps. Later, TRx employed a massive shift for one of their girls, who still managed to get on base, and who dove headfirst into abandon, at one point almost getting her hand broken on a race to third base with KB. Later, TRx had another opportunity for a play at the plate, as Josh fired the ball in from left. Luckily, Christin managed to get out of the way, or else we would have seen the sequel to There Will Be Blood. GLG finally got revenge on the Bimbos for their mistreatment of Demps and Shannon, firing a ball at one of their runners trying to advance to third, and nailing in square in the back.
After multiple back-and-forth innings, the game was tied at 13 going into the 7th and final inning. Shannon and Christin both reached base, as the Ice Road Trucker strode to the plate. Josh hit a solid line drive to left, and it looked like TRx would be back in business, yet out of nowhere, their fielder made a diving catch and quickly fired the ball back towards the infield. They tagged Shannon for the second out, and despite her best efforts to run all the way to the other field, tagged Christin as well, getting the always-rare triple play in slow-pitch softball. It's only fitting that after almost getting no-hit last game that TRx would also be involved in such a play.
The Bimbos scored in the bottom of the seventh, as TRx lost 14-13, all due to KB’s deal with the devil. TRx had their best hitting game of the season (except for KB) despite the lack of Twizzlers. As they shook hands with the Bimbos, Josh said what was on everybody's mind to one of their mean-spirited girls- "Good game, bimbo." After shaking with the other team, TRx went up to the best umpire in the league, and thanked him for doing such an excellent job. A man with such upstanding character and kindness in his heart has never graced the Earth before, and likely never will again. Men want to be him, woman want to be with him... The man, the myth, the legend...
As TRx exited the field for the final time this season, a tearful fan asked Demps why he kept KB at first for so long. Demps replied by repeating the explanation to McNulty regarding Snot Boogie playing dice- "Got to. This America, man" (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LYgKmOJT_gM). As they departed, Terry quickly tried to lock up Krysta's services for the next 3 years, offering her a 3 year/$3M contract to stay with TRx next season. Krysta is still considering her options. As for the rest of the team, they were just happy an ump showed up...
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