Drunk Judges

News out of Washington Count Circuit Court in Maryland has is that Judge W. Kennedy Boone III must now take blood alcohol tests twice a day- once before he goes on the bench, once after lunch.  This in response to previous DUI in November of 2009, which was his first as far as I can tell.  In March of 2010 he pleaded guilty and paid a $1,000 fine, as well as receiving 3 years of unsupervised probation.  After his accident, his BAC was .18, and during the accident he hit another woman's vehicle, and this woman suffered minor neck and back injuries. 

This further penalty was decided on by the Maryland Commission on Judicial Disabilities, who investigate complaints about the behavior of judges.  Given that Judge Boone is 67, they are apparently trying to get him to last unti. he reaches the mandatory retirement age of 70.  The strange thing about this commission is that the disablilities they investigate are senility, physical illness, mental illness, and alcohol or drug abuse.  One would think it is not a good thing to have senile, mentally ill, or drug addict judges, but it's creative punishments like this that make this commission comical.  It is certainly change I can believe in. 

In protest of these two blood alcohol tests he must endure, this judge should now purposely schedule all of his cases in the afternoon.  That way he can continue to drink deep into the night, and by the time he has to show up to court, the alcohol will likely be out of his system.  Then, just keep a bottle in his desk, and after his post-lunch test, knock a few back to get an early start for the night.  Also, during the next DUI case he presides over, he should preemptively strike down breathalyzers as unconstitutional, doing a giant favor to all arrested for DUI, as well as giving the commission a big "fuck you" for regarding the two tests he has to take each day. 

After all, his judge clearly has no choice but to be an alcoholic.  With Kennedy in his name, as well as paying homage to the great Boone's Farm brand of drink, this man was born to drink.  As a baby his bottle was probably filled with whiskey.  Plus, with the III, he had a lot to live up to, and is now drinking for three generations of Boone's.  Judge W Kennedy Boone III, I judge thee drunk!

http://www.baltimoresun.com/news/opinion/oped/bs-ed-rodricks-judge-20110207,0,5764938.column