Thursday, January 20, 2011

Adventures In Getting To Work

So last night my personal driver, DarDar, was apparently up all night drinking...  Ahhh, to be young and naive again.  This is becoming a pattern of his, and I usually am aware of it based an receiving a text message between the hours of midnight and 3 AM saying something to the effect of "call check me at 7:30," indicating he has been drinking and will conntinue to do so, therefore he probably won't wake up on his own volition. 

So I do that this morning, and to my surprise, I immediately get the following responses:
7:33 AM: "Omg$"
7:35 AM: "Woooooooooord"
7:37 AM: "We r deff goNna be late"

Turns out, this genius of a specimen decided to stay up all night by himself on a Wednesday, finishing off whatever beer was at his place, then moving on to vodka, and then topping it off with some gin.  All of which I could smell when he finally arrived at my place to pick me up at 8:30 (despite clearly being awake at 7:30 and living only 5 minutes away).

I was greeted with a loud "YOOOOOOO" and then informed that we might not make it in to work.  Luckily, we completed the death-defying 40 minute drive in successfully, though the following lines were uttered:
  • "We might not make it in today"
  • "I can't stop seeing two of the road"
  • "I see four lanes" (when there were only 2)
  • "staying between the lines is the hardest thing I've done in months"
  • "you better keep talking to me so we don't die"
I also put on a seatbelt voluntarily for the first time in months (I'm a bad boy), and DarDar took my lead after about 2 minutes.  You know it's bad when the driver, who usually doesn't wear a seatbelt, realizes how much of a menace he is, and decides to put one on...  It was the first time I've stayed awake for the full ride in in probably 6 months, as I clutched anything I could, bracing for impact, and praying for my safety through the multitude of swerves and near-misses.  I think I need a drink now...

 

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